So the NH our mom is at for short term wants to discharge. She's under Medicaid. My place is on a second floor and isn't accessible for a walker. Also I'm not home between 7-4 and no I can't leave work as I already maxed out my family leave and am short hours to take another. The NH thinks she should not be left unsupervised, which I agree but still think it's a good idea to discharge her to my place. Yes she had been living with me. Difference is she was not physically handicapped. She could walk, use the restroom when she needed, bathe herself, dress herself, she'd walk to the park and do some yoga excercises and she could call me. She was a stroke survivor who became epileptic and thus could not drive so had to leave her job and could not afford her rent so she moved in. Now that she needs help with all this my place is no longer a safe option. The NH however won't recommend full time care because to them she only needs some assistance. Again who and how are they going to provide that some assistance. Anyone have any pointers on how to navigate this. When I told the NH SW that I can't take care of her due to time constraints she said it was my duty. Well if I don't work we're both on the street so how is that going to help matters. Also when I tell them she can come live with me when she is physically able to they tell me she might never get back to that point. When I said well if it's never what are her long term options. They said let's try two more weeks. Why try two more weeks of PT if you think she won't get better. It's very simple if she can get back to being able to walk and go up and down stairs she can live with me. If that is an absolute no go then she needs a more access friendly place.
You need to dig your heels in on this one. Tell the NH that it is not a safe discharge and that your mother can no longer stay with you. Call the ombudsman and explain to them what is going on. Also ask to see the PRI. That will tell you all you need to know.
Right before my mom went into the hospital and then went to rehab and stayed in the nursing home, I had been to many doctor's visits with her. They told me she could not safely live alone. I had tried to get her in home care, but she wouldn't accept it. Her primary doctor told me all I could do was wait for the next crisis and then when she went to the hospital I would have to dig my heels in and keep saying unsafe discharge. I didn't realize until it happened what he really meant by that. The hospital just wanted me to take her home and take responsibility for her. Despite multiple compression fractures from falling, they said she wasn't a candidate for rehab because she could walk 50 ft with her rollator. They said she wanted to go home and they couldn't keep her. I had to tell them okay, if you want to discharge her, go ahead. I guess call her a cab because I cannot take her home. The social worker told me, no, you have to arrange for her care. I said, what if she had no children? They said they would have to call APS and that they might put her in a nursing home. Was I okay with that? I said, it doesn't matter what I am okay with as you have just said. It only matters what my mom is okay with according to you. Good luck! I left. Two hours later I received a call that miraculously my mother WAS a candidate for rehab. Amazing.
DIG YOUR HEELS IN!!!
If she is not, then you need to contact Medicaid about waiver programs that can provide her care in another setting, such an an adult foster care setting or AL.
Mom told him about her fears, struggles, and limitations with going home. She also told him about how the lady (sw) had told her I needed to take care of her.
He spoke with the SW who told him she wasn't thinking about discharge. I had shown him the insurance request for 2 weeks of care. So he pressed on about what happens after those 2 weeks because patient did not feel ready to go home. She told him she would have to get the doctors notes. This was all on Monday. Come home yesterday to find an approval from insurance for full time care the request having been made on Monday.
Mom is happy that she doesn't have to worry about being alone. Or me spending out of pocket for her care. Both of which she shouldn't need to think on while she's working on recovery. But she is still a mom. She knows that if it came down to it I would quote my job and take care of her. But she said she doesn't want that for me. I'm glad they finally understood that mom and me are a team. I would not have forced her to stay had she wanted to go home, but she herself realizes she hasn't felt safer and wanted to know why she had to leave.
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