My father is 96, nearly blind and nearly deaf. I have a CNA with him while I'm at work. Two women alternate. He's uncomfortable with the young black CNA. I like her and trust her but he's extremely paranoid. He's convinced she doesn't like white people. He says she always has a "smart" remark. He thinks she's going through his personal financial papers. When I say "Well, we'll just tell her not to come anymore" he changes his tune and says "No, she's ok." I'm tired of listening to his complaints about her.
It seems that you have two choices - keep doing what you are doing and just detach from his complaining, as he may complain about anyone, just because he needs to complain. The other choice is to go ahead and call the agency. Tell the supervisor that while this caregiver is really very good, your dad has times when he doesn't think he likes her, so maybe there could be a switch in personnel. Make it plain that this isn't the caregiver's fault, but your dad's personality. Frankly, I doubt that a change in caregivers will improve things, and you may get someone who truly isn't good. Only you can decide what's worth doing.
Take care of yourself. We know it's rough.
Carol
Also, do you know for a fact that this person is not going into places she shouldn't? One of the directors of an agency I used always told us to lock away personal papers and valuables. His philosophy was "better safe than sorry." And it protects both the client and the caregiver.
I only had one experience where I had to change personnel. The first person they sent over would not listen to what Mom wanted. When she went shopping for her, she bought the products that she liked, not the ones on Mom's list. It also got to the point where she was "bullying" her. So I listened to my Mom and had them send over someone else who worked out beautifully. Your father may be changing his tune when you want to replace this caregiver because change seems worse to him than putting up with unprofessional care. I would give him the benefit of the doubt this time, then if his complaints continue, it just may be his pattern.
If you have concerns about people in your father's home, for long periods of time, you may want to invest in a digital recording device that you can access remotely by your computer.
Good luck...