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My mom has been paranoid, agitated, accusatory, etc. out of the blue for the last three weeks. She is not on any meds other than cardiac, high blood pressure pills and occassionally a very low dose of valium 2mgs. (yesterday she had 5mgs of valium to go through an MRI). She suddenly had a completely "normal" day yesterday, being the mom I have always known and love. I don't think it was the valium because she wasn't just calm, she was a completely different person and it began before she even took the pill. Is this typical of dementia or alz? I am so shocked and just praying that she could stay this way.

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Enjoy the good days and sit in God's hands and be comforted on the not so good days. I find that praying and turning to God really does help.
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Amanda, if your mother won't go to the doctor then you'll need some other way of coming up with a care plan for her. There are ways of forcing a medical/psychiatric assessment but you might want to try other approaches first. Know any friendly social workers? That might be a start.

If her dementia is already so advanced that she doesn't recognise you, how is she coping day to day? Where does she think she is?
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I am 38 and a single mom of a 11 and 12 year old. My mom lives with us and we all know she has alz. but she refuses to go to the doctor, she states they will kill you, she does not know any of her 3 kids or grand kids, what kind of help is available if any?
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I feel for you because I am in the same situation and it sounds like all of the others are too. My Mother has me so confused that I am beginning to think I am the one with
dementia!! My husband even said honey, you are getting awful forgetful here lately! Which really scares me and I've been on my toes ever since!!

We have a few good days and then we have a few bad days. It is so sad! Today is one of the bad days when she tells me she has already eaten and already changed her depends and already done this and that. That is when it makes me feel like I am going nuts! She will hold the paper for hours and hours and go over the same story over and over and never move the paper and then tell me she has read the whole paper and can't tell me a thing she has read. Today is one of those days.

I have been on 20 mg of Prozac for the past year and it has really helped. So it started getting tougher and I started taking 40 mg which has really helped. I always thought it was an awful thing to do, but I have actually felt better, with no side effects. So it gets tougher, try it because it really does help and don't be ashamed. People don't need to know you take it to help yourself. I go from day to day praying that each day will get better all the way around and some days they are answered and some days I find myself asking why, which I know I shouldn't. My amazing husband helps out so much, but it scares me that some day he may not be able to handle it anymore either. He doesn't show any signs of it, but I always have that thought in the back of my mind because I always wonder how much more I can take. Dementia and AlZ is so hard for the person and everyone involved in the caretaking and family. Wishing you the best. Thank heavens for this site!
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I am reading The 36 Hour Day, and it explains the brain sometimes operates like a loose light bulb. Recommend the book. I have a husband w/dementia not real bad yet.
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Yes, it is a wonderful but heartbreaking thing. I had this experience one evening with my mom when she was staying with me for some tests. All of the sudden, I went in to give her her night time medication and there she was - MY MOM. I didn't want to let her go to sleep. I haven't really seen HER since. I miss her so much.
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Yes, ups and downs, back and forth... it is a very confusing disease, and not just for the patient either! I can't get my dad to understand that... he thinks every change is permanent! "Oh no! She is really going down hill" or the other way... he just can't comprehend that THAT is the disease... it is a mass of ups and downs. No 2 days exactly alike.
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My Mom has Alzheimer's. She is confused most of the time, and couple with Aphasia she can barely talk anymore. Then, all of a sudden, she will be watching her beloved game shows and answering questions on Chain Reaction and Jeopardy. The old Mom I knew is still there, so it comforts me on the 'good' days. Cherish them. They will get fewer and farther between.
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It is very typical and the new "normal". My Mom goes in about a two week cycle. She will have a few good days, a few marginal days, a couple of absolutely horrible days, and then we start all over. I see the really bad days coming and brace myself to get through them. Enjoy the better days, and just keep telling yourself the bad days will pass. Good luck to you and your family.
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Unfortunately, dealing with alz/dementia will be like living on a roller coaster. I know it's possible to have a period of time that's completely 'normal', then WHAM they get hit again with craziness. I don't know whether to suggest taking her back to the doctor that acted like a dipwad, or to suggest you just enjoy having your mom back again, knowing she could change tomorrow. Scary not knowing, and not having any control. I get it.
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Absolutely typical from my experience! My mom has very lucid days and moments. That is why she is still living independently and refuses help (and we can't make her). If she is fed well for a couple days with outside stimulation/engaging activity she can be very good and "normal". But she does lapse into "another world" sometimes and that can be an hour or several days. I hope you have more normal days "stay this way" than the not good days.
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