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When I am on holiday, I so enjoy the small selection of favorite clothes & items I bring. Very seldom miss anything.
I need to downsize in the future too & feel overwhelmed just thinking about it!
In the past when moving, I took everything with the boring task of sorting the boxes over time. Probably some unsorted in the garage... Anyone else??
When I move NEXT time, I will pack only what I need (holiday style) & go from there. Keeping the old place for a few extra months will cost but I see it as an investment to my future - the *out of sight out of mind* will work it's magic & lessen any attachment I have to the 'stuff' left there. Then easier to sort & clear.
Thankyou for starting this thread. It has given birth to this new approach today & I feel less daunted.
When I am on holiday, I so enjoy the small selection of favorite clothes & items I bring. Very seldom miss anything.
I need to downsize in the future too & feel overwhelmed just thinking about it!
In the past when moving, I took everything with the boring task of sorting the boxes over time. Probably some unsorted in the garage... Anyone else??
When I move NEXT time, I will pack only what I need (holiday style) & go from there. Keeping the old place for a few extra months will cost but I see it as an investment to my future - the *out of sight out of mind* will work it's magic & lessen any attachment I have to the 'stuff' left there. Then easier to sort & clear.
Thankyou for starting this thread. It has given birth to this new approach today & I feel less daunted.
When I am on holiday, I so enjoy the small selection of favorite clothes & items I bring. Very seldom miss anything.
I need to downsize in the future too & feel overwhelmed just thinking about it!
In the past when moving, I took everything with the boring task of sorting the boxes over time. Probably some unsorted in the garage... Anyone else??
When I move NEXT time, I will pack only what I need (holiday style) & go from there. Keeping the old place for a few extra months will cost but I see it as an investment to my future - the *out of sight out of mind* will work it's magic & lessen any attachment I have to the 'stuff' left there. Then easier to sort & clear.
Thankyou for starting this thread. It has given birth to this new approach today & I feel less daunted.
I keep 3 boxes, one for "keep for later," one is "donate now," one is "not sure." I keep adding items to all the boxes, when the donate one is full I seal it up and let it sit for a week or two. After that time if I haven’t needed anything, or don’t remember what I put in it I take it to a donation center.
My sister had a good system when she moved. She unpacked what they needed, and put everything else in the basement. After a year anything left in the basement she figured she didn’t need and donated.
I threw most of the stuff out at my own house. But don’t worry, the dolls I played with at 5 years old are safe and sound at my hoarding mothers house! Along with all my diaries are safe and sound at her house. Along with ALL of my clothes and ALL of my toys are safe and sound at my hoarding mothers house! All of my kids toys and all of my kids baby clothes, crib, walker, infant seat and playpen are all safe and sound at her house.
All of my grandmother stuff is safe and sound at my mothers house. Dishes, 3 dressers, bed, headboard, coats, fur coat, china cabinet are all safe and sound at my hoarding mothers house!
While it is useful to say sort into keep/trash/donate, sometimes when looking at the whole even this seems like Mt Everest!
The only suggestion I would add is start with one room at a time. Don't look at the whole, look at just what is in that room.
When my daughter was still living at home, her room was a disaster! I didn't object so long as it stayed in her room. I had to do some cleaning and sorting when she was younger, as her method of "cleaning" was just to bag everything and put it in the closet! Trash, silverware, whatever, it just went into a bag, not even sorted by any means! At one point the release value on the baseboard heat developed a leak, staining the ceiling below. Unfortunately it was in the back corner, inaccessible with all the stuff everywhere! I got her started thus:
Take out ALL clothes, clean or not. That freed up a lot of space. Once we could get to the radiator to fix it, the rest was up to her (she was late teens at this point.) I said sort through the rest of this crap by low level sorting - your papers in a box, to be sorted/trashed later. Art work in another box, and so on. She actually managed to make the room look great when she was done!
When we had to clear out mom's condo, unfortunately we didn't really stick to this plan (brothers help was minimal and they would go from one task to another without finishing the first!) Eventually we (mostly me) managed to get through it all by sorting to keep, donate and trash. She had SO many clothes, shoes and handbags! It took me over 1.75 years to get it all done. While still finishing up this, I had to arrange some repairs and touch up, so it wasn't all just going through crap - there was a lot of cleaning to be done too!
But, as noted, my point is not to look at the whole house to be done, focus on one room at a time, using the keep/trash/donate. After that is all done, you might go through the keep items again and perhaps be able to toss some more. You can't climb Mt Everest in one go - you have to focus on what's in front of you, one step at a time! If you look at the top, you will be overwhelmed before you even start!
When moving my sister helped and had me sort three piles, Keep, Maybe and Trash. (I was downsizing from a full house, home business and garden, to a room.)
Once I had the Keep pile started it was much easier to let go of a lot of the rest. The Maybe pile ended up being donated with very little of it kept!
I guess that seeing all I COULD keep helped allay the fears of letting go of the rest. It felt "safe".
Get a dumpster and throw it out!! That’s what I did. I gave a lot of stuff away too. I don’t miss any of it. I threw everything in a dumpster a month ago. I don’t want to end up like my mother a hoarder. My mother is 96 and lives alone. She won’t throw anything out. She’s beyond help on this.
Many great suggestions here. Just two from me. I have been sorting through many things in my deceased parents home, plus I am trying to pare down my own home. I am at the point where both my and my husband's parents have passed away. Therefore, our household has absorbed many pieces of furniture too as well as discards from our adult kids. Plus, I am a creative sort which can mean I save art materials for future use. Anyway, I have found a fun way to let go and share some things. At my parent's home I have unearthed drawings and letters written by grandchildren who are adult now. If I send a birthday card to their mom, dad, or them, I'll slip a drawing or little note in with it. They enjoy the memory. Keep in mind I don't keep everything; I just save the real keepers to share this way. The other more practical suggestion is one I learned from a friend. She knew she was going to move from house to apartment in about a year and had to let go of a lot. She would keep one or two paper grocery bags by the front door and would make sure she would fill them by the end of each week. It's easy to know what to throw away or donate especially at the beginning. Pacing yourself like that makes the process much more easy. My only frustration in my process was when there was no place to donate during the Covid shut down. Salvation Army stopped taking anything and the local consignment shops were closed. Even the libraries were closed and therefore couldn't accept books for their sale room. I found that it was hard to consider throwing away something that could be used by another! So, if Covid is not too much of a problem in your area, I would start by donating as much to charity as possible. If you need to wait for that reason, take the time to determine the value of those future donations.
WHEN we ( me) were faced with the task of moving MOM's stuff home from Germany to Indiana-- I took the expensive stuff ( stereo-- et al)--, some clothes ( boxed 'em up and sent them via the APO -- less expensive), gave all the dishes and pots and pans, blankets-- anything useable-- to the local church for refugees,,, and the rest of the stuff-- trashed it in a roll-away dumpster the landlord provided. OH-- yes-- all photo albums and all-- SAVED ! Good luck-- i did ---- go thru everything. Since my sisters woulda killt me if I lost anything. My daughter, too. I did blow out a gut moving the credenza downstairs-- had to have surgery after I got back-- my wife was quite upset.
Imho, if you do not have a Hoarding Disorder, sort through items as follows: - Trash - Recycle - Saleable - Keep - A mindset as follows: if you possessed the item, but never used it, it's time to part with said item.
A Hoarding Disorder, on the other hand, requires the help of a medical professional.
One other division is to "find a permanent home" if you are keeping an item that just seems to "be" and doesn't really have a place. AKA the "junk drawer" items--many of us have a lot of "junk drawer"-type places around our home. Another idea is to go to Pinterest.com and search decluttering, downsizing, etc. There are loads of ideas there.
Wanting to clean and organize? You're 80% of the way done!
I've worked with several hoarders and if I could go back in time, I'd be a de-clutterer for a living. I LOVE to throw stuff away, or give it away--and give people a cleaner, more organized living space.
The concept of making a room look like a 'swanky hotel' is brilliant! MY DH travels a lot and his bedroom here at home looks like a Motel 6 ( no judgment intended, but you get my drift). I do NOT organize for him, but I will make his bed and clean the basic room, as any maid would do. He himself got into the spirit of KonMari a few years ago, cleaned all his drawers/closets and keeps them organized and clean.
I have helped several people do the 'whole house cleaning' and for the most part, unless they really want it done and are motivated to get going and keep going, forget about. Mother wanted me to purge her little apartment about 5 years ago. When, after 3 days, she had thrown away one tiny bag of garbage, one tiny sack of books to GoodWill and 2 blouses to a friend--I gave up and never tried again. Her apt has a lot of cubbyholes of junk, there's no other word for rancid candles and hand lotion....but she hangs on to everything. She has a large cupboard filled with sticky Tupperware...it's just plain icky and I have no idea why she hangs on to it. She's kept the TV Digest from the last 22 years. And all the catalogs that have come in the house for the last 22 years.
If hanging on to stuff like that and thinking about tossing it makes you sick--you are not ready for the bigger stuff.
The best advice I got/give is to not hold something for more than 1 minute. The longer you physically hold onto something, the harder it is to move.
KonMari is just one of many decluttering ideas. I binge watch 'Hoarders' and that motivates me to no end!
Cas has a lot of good information here. She did a short TV series during covid on how to organize and I have finally been able to realize why my husband and I organize differently based on her four organizational styles.
Try to start with something that would be easy to part with. Maybe the closet. Do a quick run through and pull out things you really don't like and put them in the 'to go' box. Then pull out everything that you have not worn in a long time and put it on the bed in one pile. Make yourself go through each thing and try it on. There's probably a reason you don't wear it even if you like it - too tight here/there, neckline too low, needs repair, just doesn't feel right when you put it on. If that was a long day - then stop. Start again tomorrow. You may see yourself making so much progress, you want to continue.
The other things in closet should be what you regularly wear. Anything not looking so good anymore?? Maybe a little bigger/tighter than you'd like? Put in the toss box. With so many thrift store options for clothing, you can probably get newer things to be wearing at a fraction of the cost. Plus, if you decide you don't like it, you don't feel like you're throwing a $100 dress away.
For papers, try to touch it once. If you get bogged down, then start a pile of 'definite' keeps and 'maybe's' - just to keep the sorting process going. It would be handy to have some folders handy to help with initial sort. Basic things like folder that says: House stuff, utilities, Important papers (ss card, birth cert,car titles - anything you'd need to get your hands on in emergency). Have one of those cube file holder boxes next to you. This might not be exactly the way you want to set up a file cabinet, but gets it started for more detailed sorting when you reach that point. Toss things as you go. When you find yourself slowing, then stop if you must. Otherwise you'll find yourself trying to read each item and will only get slower. Use quick glances to identify the important 'keepers'.
Is important to know if the items belong to you or a family member. I am hired to do organizational management - I cleared out an entire three bedroom home for a client who moved into a cozy two room apt at a retirement community. This also involved files and filing and papers 'all over the place." Daily I had piles: Toss keep store (in storage boxes), for her family [went to storage unit] recycle 2nd hand stores hazard dump
NOTE: Electronics / computers / cans of paint, etc., go to hazardous dump. Good Will not take items now due to Covid. Try Next Door or a neighborhood give-away. I got a great microwave looking on a neighborhood exchange website. This is how I work: And . . . suggestions here depends on what it is, i.e., clothes? furniture? photos? It isn't a one-size fits all.
* Be aware of separating emotion from logic - may not be easy. Be ready to make a decision based on need and space, i.e., mental + physical room available) * How much room do you have for storage and how do you want to use that real estate? * Instinctively, I sort by grouping first. Then, reduce down from there. * Does it fit? Do you wear it? If not, don't keep. Recently, I gave away a gorgeous top, expensive with Japanese mottif on it. I love(d) it and realized I DON'T WEAR IT. My friend loved it. Then . . . recently someone gave me a gorgeous velvet cut-off jacket I'll wear often. So, things work out. * Consider being or wanting to be generous. * Know that 99.9% of the time, once it is gone, you won't think about it again. * Consider the health (physical and mental) benefits of space, more room, order. * IF YOU KEEP: Have stack-able containers that you can label w BIG BLK LTRS * If on the wagon, toss. If you really can't, give it another day and revisit. * Do a little a day as this can be very exhausting. All my clients are different. Some are as ready as ready could be to get rid of BAGS of clothes; another currently is a hoarder although she is doing 90% better now. Self and other encouragement and acknowledgment is important. * For the record, someone gave me the 'famous' book written by an Asian woman (I don't know her name) I hated it. As someone here said, everyone is different and we all have to find our own way. And, you ARE. Reaching out here is a huge step. Congratulations.
There are some excellent suggestions here. FlyLady.net is also a useful website with resources for organization. It might help to sort of map out some short term goals to keep yourself from feeling overwhelmed. That's what I did with my mother who had hoarding tendencies. Focus on small areas and give yourself a deadline or some sort of goal post like "I'm going to go sort through five boxes by the end of this week". Build in some rewards for larger goals. So maybe treat yourself to something fun when you complete organizing a room. This way, you have something to work towards and it's not just a chore. You have to be honest with yourself about your abilities and motivation. So if you know that there is no way you can go through 10 boxes in week, and that you get exhausted after an hour, figure that in.
I chuckle at some of this. My husband was in the military and he was stationed in Germany and in Japan, then we went to work in Japan after retirement, staying 13 years and during that time traveled over most of Asia. His hobby was cameras, stereos, and then printing his own photos. And yes, Okie Grammy, he put them on CD's, before CD's he put them on 3" computer discs and make copies for albums or just boxes. Now that he is gone, I have the job of going through all the CD's to see if there are any pictures my family I would like. I'm not even going to do that, I'm just going to toss them. There are hard copies. My son wants only photos of us, not of cathedrals, mountains, farm lands, shrines, etc. As for your comment that paper photos go bad, I have photos from my families' young days, going back to 1920 or so. Well taken care of. I have photos of our entire life and where we have been, having traveled in over 60 countries. My son doesn't want any unless we are in them. I became a grandma of twins at age 72 and they are 8 now, and starting to ask questions about our life. I am in the process of sorting through 10 boxes of photos each box holding 1600 photos. I'm sure my son will have the boys go through them one day and throw out more. But our photo treasure won't be their treasure, so why am I saving the ones with us in them? Ask myself all the time. I also have large prints of my mother's grandparents and aunts, uncles, and cousins,all from 1930's, 40's, 50's. I never saw these people except one of her cousins who owned a grocery store (before supermarkets), I had to "go to the store" by myself for Mom at age 5. There are also pictures Mom gave me of our family, she made a box for each of us 4 kids. Getting rid of family photos gets rid of history of a family. What to do? I still have 5 boxes of our travels to go through. I'm now 81 and just hate the job. But, then again, each photo brings back memories of our younger days and where we lived and traveled. We came back from overseas when we were in early 60's. Not so many pictures taken after that, except when the twins were born (we were 72 and 74) PapPap took many pictures of those beautiful twins when they were born. I will continue to go through them, but I think I'll keep even less photos for the boys. Then I'll let their Dad have the rest of the job of pitching the whole box.
Totally agree with you. Those photo treasures are our treasures, not our descendants. I inherited everyone's photo albums: my parents' 3300 slides, my Aunt's, my Grandma's, the photos my Aunt and Grandma inherited (which have been sitting in storage for 40 years). And then I have the outtakes from ALL the pictures my siblings took of their children. (They kept the good ones and gave the next best to the grandparents.) I think I even inherited a mouse that made a home in one of the boxes of photo albumns and for all I know he is the reason I had to hire an exterminator this year. Went through the slides years ago to make a small CD (650 slides) for my parent and sibs. Took me months to do it evenings after work. Don't want to spend my remaining time on Earth doing that again. Got rid of most of the outtakes of my nieces/nephews in order to consolidate my own photo albums down to one. Tossing my Aunt's and Grandma's photo albums as I do not know who the people (their friends) are. Keeping some very old pictures from one album as the photos were professionally taken and I want to figure out who the people are. No one else cares.
Here are some criteria I use: is it damaged, discolored, smelly? put it in the trash! is it a magazine, newspaper or catalog? Throw it out. If there is ONE recipe in it, cut that out and put it in a notebook and get rid of the paper item. is it a greeting card from a family member or friend that is just signed with their name? Get rid of it. Is it a letter from a friend/family member with a landmark announcement? Keep is it a letter from family friend, that was just newsy? Throw it away. put all old photos in a clear shoebox. At some point sort out duplicates and throw them away. If you have no idea of The Who, what, where or when, throw them away. Books-if you have no plans to re-read the book, get rid of it. Give it to a friend, donate to a senior home or free lending library. If it’s old and smells musty or has mildew on it, throw it away. One old paperwork-throw old utility bills away, and receipts for anything past it’s warranty period. Throw old manuals to items you no longer use away.
the book Swedish Death Cleaning was helpful. One thing I learned ...if you have a number of momentos from a trip - keep 1 and the rest must go somewhere else.
This has always been an inspiration to me: http://www.looseendshome.com/get-inspired/lightness-of-being-letting-go-of-possessions-bares-the-endless-possibilities-of-living/
My husband and I were in the military and we moved over 20 times in 30+ years. Every spring, I would do a purge to get ready for our next move. Here is my guidelines (they may work for you):
1 - If worn out, throw out. I know I can fix a lot of stuff and some clothes may come back in style or be easily repaired, but holding on to this "stuff" just fills the place up.
2 - If I haven't used it in 3 years (average tour of duty), get rid of it. The only time I break this rule is for items that we didn't use because of climate - like winter coats since we live in Florida but we have family we visit in Chicago.
3 - "Doubles" need to go. Nobody really needs 10 cans of the same type of soup. Having 1 spare item for food and toiletries is OK. More than that is "hoarder zone".
4 - Streamline every room is more like a swanky hotel. Ever wonder why we enjoy going to nicer hotels on vacations? It is because the focus is on quality, not quantity. Keep nice sheets on the bed and 1 spare set. Pare down "personal objects" until there is mostly clear table space, then add 1-2 objects of less than 1/2 the room.
5 - Closets - if I haven't worn it this season, it goes. I tend divide my clothes into spring-summer and fall-winter categories. As each season begins (1 week before school starts and 1 week before spring starts) I try everything on for it. Keep only the ones that make me look great! At the end of the season, if I didn't wear something, out it goes.
6 - Personal/memory items Decide in advance how much you will keep. Usually 1-2 bins full for a 3 bedroom house. Keep only the items that are beautiful and useful. Take pictures of the rest and send those along to others.
7 - Think donations Usually, yard sales are a bust. If an items has value try selling on Craigslist or donate to a charity.
Since I have spent so much time home from this covid stuff, I have discovered that I use very little of what I have in my house. I really need to purge but unfortunately, a lot of this is my husband's and he won't let me get rid of it.
My mother has lived with us going on 30 years. I have been cleaning her things out for awhile now, she is at the point she doesn’t know what she has, she has basic clothes and a few ornaments. After cleaning out my father’s when he died ( they were divorced) I decided to start on my Mom’s early.
I probably am not one to give in this advice in this area! However, I feel compelled to say that what works for one person may not be the ideal system for someone else. One suggestion that I have never been able to follow is if you haven't worn/used something in a year get rid of it. Depends on the reason - if I like it but I don't have something that matches, it goes in a box "needs match". Clothing, I cut a piece of fabric of inside seam/pocket and keep it in my wallet so that when I am shopping and run across something that might match I can check it out. If another reason - box "Too small", "Too big", "Needs mending". During this pandemic I am glad I have held on to things because I don't want to have to go to stores to look for something. If you have space. Ask yourself why you are keeping it? If it is something that might be useful, sort with other items that you are keeping for the same reason. Do you keep boxes because you might need them? Keep one each of an approximate size and get rid of the rest, etc. Not up to sorting right now? Each day throw away or find a permanent place for just one thing - if that leads to more than one, great.
Ask yourself..."Do I really need this?" As a rule don't keep things you do not use. When mom died I threw away 90% of the things because she is gone and keeping her stuff is useless. However, I kept 10% of her old clothes because I did not want to throw everything away. A compromise. Keep all photos. They don't take much room anyway.
One thing you can do with photos is have them put on a CD, in the cloud, etc. by a company such as Legacy Box. Photos will deteriorate anyway if we just keep them in boxes.
If you have Netflix, watch "Tidying Up" with Marie Kando. However, if you do not have Netflix here are the top three principles of tidying up.
1. Commit yourself to the job. 2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle or in this case the ideal setting for your loved one 3. Finish discarding first! Sort into three piles: Discard/Trash, Donate, sell 1. If the stuff is in good shape, barely used/worn donate it to Salvation Army or a Charity thrift store for a cause you support. Some large items such as furniture and electronic equipment the shop will have a truck and help to assist with the removal. You can sell/resell items at a consignment shop or antique shop as well. 4. Tidy by category not location. Sort clothes one day etc... 5. Follow the right order: Clothes, books, paper, komono ( small personal items), sentimental items. The purpose of this is to build your brain up, emotions up, to enable you to have strength to let go. 6. Ask yourself if it sparks "joy", if there is no feeling no reason to keep it, let it go.
All good suggestions. After cleaning out Moms 7 room farmhouse Mom had lived in for 60 yrs, I started on mine.
When I started on Moms she was still living there. I sat her down on a chair and had a bag for trash then a pile to donate and a pile to keep. I would ask donate or keep. Then when that was all done I would take the keep pile and ask, are u sure u want to keep this? On second thought, it went into the donation pile. The donation pile went with me.
After doing that for Mom, I started on my house. Anything left from the girls they were asked if they wanted, if not donation. I have been here 40 years so, if it was something I had never used and wouldn't I got rid of it. Odd dishes, go rid of them. I donated a lot of stuff. Not that there isn't probably more, but will worry about that stuff when we move. Tell my girls not to buy anthing until they check to see if I have it.
Oh, and do one room at a time. Not so overwhelmng.
Looker, my apologies. When I referred to "standards" for the "keep" pile, I was thinking of items you want to keep, and these factors:
1. Do they represent family times, memories, things that are comforting to you, or are they business records, etc.?
2. If clothing, are they in usable condition, or do they need repair, or are they just not salvageable? You could keep the first, and the second if you want to repair them, but the third probably would go into the trash bin, or if local charities take clothes for rags, that's an option.
3. Generally, establish your standards for keeping something, whether it's just for pleasure, memory, use, or something just to cherish. Those are keepers. If you don't need it and it's in good condition, it can be donated. If it's in bad condition, old and dilapidated, or dysfunctional, it's probably not worth keeping.
E.g., I found my old 1960s era skis, swim slippers, goggles, my father's skin-diving equipment, an old pickle barrel Mom used to pickle cucumbers, lots of planters, a juke box, and a drafting table.
The skis, flippers and skin diving equipment are probably not in good shape, not usable, and the tanks are well past being current. I think they're in the "thanks for the use but goodbye" category. The pickle barrel wasn't in good condition either, so that too was discarded. The planters and pots merely need to be washed and can be used. They're keepers. The juke box and drafting table can be cleaned up and used, and the juke box might be sole to an antique shop.
Another example: Dad had a rototiller and shredder used in the garden. I don't know how to fix the tiller and maintain it, and same with the shredder. In addition, there are newer, easier to use and more progressive models. With a few tears for the good use they've provided, I sacrificed them to the scrap pile.
Does this make sense? Just ask again if you need further explanation.
We went through this first when my mom died and my dad went into assisted living. My mother was a hoarder (think one drawer stuffed with nothing but rubber bands from newspapers), and it was a horrible ordeal. Who knows how much that was valuable was lost because it was buried under mountains of stuff?
A few years later when my dad died, he had almost all the walls of his apartment covered in framed awards, certificates, and diplomas for almost everything he had ever done. Well, they all ended up in a dumpster, because nobody is going to keep that kind of stuff. Keep that in mind when you are deciding what of your own you want to keep. One person's treasure is another person's trash. We can't take it with us.
Looker, to add to my earlier post. Another thing that helps me is that Carolin, my helper, takes the donations away with her. The day after session I take all the bags of garbage to the dump, the recycling too.
Having the things leave the house immediately is a good thing for me, there is no temptation to check what is in the bags and boxes. This is part of the reason that I am not selling anything or having a free garage sale.
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I need to downsize in the future too & feel overwhelmed just thinking about it!
In the past when moving, I took everything with the boring task of sorting the boxes over time. Probably some unsorted in the garage... Anyone else??
When I move NEXT time, I will pack only what I need (holiday style) & go from there. Keeping the old place for a few extra months will cost but I see it as an investment to my future - the *out of sight out of mind* will work it's magic & lessen any attachment I have to the 'stuff' left there. Then easier to sort & clear.
Thankyou for starting this thread. It has given birth to this new approach today & I feel less daunted.
I wish you well for your downsize 🤗.
I need to downsize in the future too & feel overwhelmed just thinking about it!
In the past when moving, I took everything with the boring task of sorting the boxes over time. Probably some unsorted in the garage... Anyone else??
When I move NEXT time, I will pack only what I need (holiday style) & go from there. Keeping the old place for a few extra months will cost but I see it as an investment to my future - the *out of sight out of mind* will work it's magic & lessen any attachment I have to the 'stuff' left there. Then easier to sort & clear.
Thankyou for starting this thread. It has given birth to this new approach today & I feel less daunted.
I wish you well for your downsize 🤗.
I need to downsize in the future too & feel overwhelmed just thinking about it!
In the past when moving, I took everything with the boring task of sorting the boxes over time. Probably some unsorted in the garage... Anyone else??
When I move NEXT time, I will pack only what I need (holiday style) & go from there. Keeping the old place for a few extra months will cost but I see it as an investment to my future - the *out of sight out of mind* will work it's magic & lessen any attachment I have to the 'stuff' left there. Then easier to sort & clear.
Thankyou for starting this thread. It has given birth to this new approach today & I feel less daunted.
I wish you well for your downsize 🤗.
My sister had a good system when she moved. She unpacked what they needed, and put everything else in the basement. After a year anything left in the basement she figured she didn’t need and donated.
1. Useful
2. Beautiful
3. Treasured keepsake
Yes = keep it
No to everything else.
PS If in doubt - throw it out!
Now if I could only do that myself... 🤔
All of my grandmother stuff is safe and sound at my mothers house. Dishes, 3 dressers, bed, headboard, coats, fur coat, china cabinet are all safe and sound at my hoarding mothers house!
The only suggestion I would add is start with one room at a time. Don't look at the whole, look at just what is in that room.
When my daughter was still living at home, her room was a disaster! I didn't object so long as it stayed in her room. I had to do some cleaning and sorting when she was younger, as her method of "cleaning" was just to bag everything and put it in the closet! Trash, silverware, whatever, it just went into a bag, not even sorted by any means! At one point the release value on the baseboard heat developed a leak, staining the ceiling below. Unfortunately it was in the back corner, inaccessible with all the stuff everywhere! I got her started thus:
Take out ALL clothes, clean or not. That freed up a lot of space. Once we could get to the radiator to fix it, the rest was up to her (she was late teens at this point.)
I said sort through the rest of this crap by low level sorting - your papers in a box, to be sorted/trashed later. Art work in another box, and so on. She actually managed to make the room look great when she was done!
When we had to clear out mom's condo, unfortunately we didn't really stick to this plan (brothers help was minimal and they would go from one task to another without finishing the first!) Eventually we (mostly me) managed to get through it all by sorting to keep, donate and trash. She had SO many clothes, shoes and handbags! It took me over 1.75 years to get it all done. While still finishing up this, I had to arrange some repairs and touch up, so it wasn't all just going through crap - there was a lot of cleaning to be done too!
But, as noted, my point is not to look at the whole house to be done, focus on one room at a time, using the keep/trash/donate. After that is all done, you might go through the keep items again and perhaps be able to toss some more. You can't climb Mt Everest in one go - you have to focus on what's in front of you, one step at a time! If you look at the top, you will be overwhelmed before you even start!
Once I had the Keep pile started it was much easier to let go of a lot of the rest. The Maybe pile ended up being donated with very little of it kept!
I guess that seeing all I COULD keep helped allay the fears of letting go of the rest. It felt "safe".
OH-- yes-- all photo albums and all-- SAVED ! Good luck-- i did ---- go thru everything. Since my sisters woulda killt me if I lost anything. My daughter, too.
I did blow out a gut moving the credenza downstairs-- had to have surgery after I got back-- my wife was quite upset.
- Trash
- Recycle
- Saleable
- Keep
- A mindset as follows: if you possessed the item, but never used it, it's time to part with said item.
A Hoarding Disorder, on the other hand, requires the help of a medical professional.
I've worked with several hoarders and if I could go back in time, I'd be a de-clutterer for a living. I LOVE to throw stuff away, or give it away--and give people a cleaner, more organized living space.
The concept of making a room look like a 'swanky hotel' is brilliant! MY DH travels a lot and his bedroom here at home looks like a Motel 6 ( no judgment intended, but you get my drift). I do NOT organize for him, but I will make his bed and clean the basic room, as any maid would do. He himself got into the spirit of KonMari a few years ago, cleaned all his drawers/closets and keeps them organized and clean.
I have helped several people do the 'whole house cleaning' and for the most part, unless they really want it done and are motivated to get going and keep going, forget about. Mother wanted me to purge her little apartment about 5 years ago. When, after 3 days, she had thrown away one tiny bag of garbage, one tiny sack of books to GoodWill and 2 blouses to a friend--I gave up and never tried again. Her apt has a lot of cubbyholes of junk, there's no other word for rancid candles and hand lotion....but she hangs on to everything. She has a large cupboard filled with sticky Tupperware...it's just plain icky and I have no idea why she hangs on to it. She's kept the TV Digest from the last 22 years. And all the catalogs that have come in the house for the last 22 years.
If hanging on to stuff like that and thinking about tossing it makes you sick--you are not ready for the bigger stuff.
The best advice I got/give is to not hold something for more than 1 minute. The longer you physically hold onto something, the harder it is to move.
KonMari is just one of many decluttering ideas. I binge watch 'Hoarders' and that motivates me to no end!
https://clutterbug.me/
The other things in closet should be what you regularly wear. Anything not looking so good anymore?? Maybe a little bigger/tighter than you'd like? Put in the toss box. With so many thrift store options for clothing, you can probably get newer things to be wearing at a fraction of the cost. Plus, if you decide you don't like it, you don't feel like you're throwing a $100 dress away.
For papers, try to touch it once. If you get bogged down, then start a pile of 'definite' keeps and 'maybe's' - just to keep the sorting process going. It would be handy to have some folders handy to help with initial sort. Basic things like folder that says: House stuff, utilities, Important papers (ss card, birth cert,car titles - anything you'd need to get your hands on in emergency). Have one of those cube file holder boxes next to you. This might not be exactly the way you want to set up a file cabinet, but gets it started for more detailed sorting when you reach that point. Toss things as you go. When you find yourself slowing, then stop if you must. Otherwise you'll find yourself trying to read each item and will only get slower. Use quick glances to identify the important 'keepers'.
I am hired to do organizational management - I cleared out an entire three bedroom home for a client who moved into a cozy two room apt at a retirement community. This also involved files and filing and papers 'all over the place." Daily I had piles:
Toss
keep
store (in storage boxes),
for her family [went to storage unit]
recycle 2nd hand stores
hazard dump
NOTE: Electronics / computers / cans of paint, etc., go to hazardous dump.
Good Will not take items now due to Covid. Try Next Door or a neighborhood give-away. I got a great microwave looking on a neighborhood exchange website. This is how I work: And . . . suggestions here depends on what it is, i.e., clothes? furniture? photos? It isn't a one-size fits all.
* Be aware of separating emotion from logic - may not be easy. Be ready to make a decision based on need and space, i.e., mental + physical room available)
* How much room do you have for storage and how do you want to use that real estate?
* Instinctively, I sort by grouping first. Then, reduce down from there.
* Does it fit? Do you wear it? If not, don't keep. Recently, I gave away a gorgeous top, expensive with Japanese mottif on it. I love(d) it and realized I DON'T WEAR IT. My friend loved it. Then . . . recently someone gave me a gorgeous velvet cut-off jacket I'll wear often. So, things work out.
* Consider being or wanting to be generous.
* Know that 99.9% of the time, once it is gone, you won't think about it again.
* Consider the health (physical and mental) benefits of space, more room, order.
* IF YOU KEEP: Have stack-able containers that you can label w BIG BLK LTRS
* If on the wagon, toss. If you really can't, give it another day and revisit.
* Do a little a day as this can be very exhausting. All my clients are different. Some are as ready as ready could be to get rid of BAGS of clothes; another currently is a hoarder although she is doing 90% better now. Self and other encouragement and acknowledgment is important.
* For the record, someone gave me the 'famous' book written by an Asian woman (I don't know her name) I hated it. As someone here said, everyone is different and we all have to find our own way. And, you ARE. Reaching out here is a huge step. Congratulations.
As for your comment that paper photos go bad, I have photos from my families' young days, going back to 1920 or so. Well taken care of. I have photos of our entire life and where we have been, having traveled in over 60 countries. My son doesn't want any unless we are in them. I became a grandma of twins at age 72 and they are 8 now, and starting to ask questions about our life. I am in the process of sorting through 10 boxes of photos each box holding 1600 photos. I'm sure my son will have the boys go through them one day and throw out more. But our photo treasure won't be their treasure, so why am I saving the ones with us in them? Ask myself all the time. I also have large prints of my mother's grandparents and aunts, uncles, and cousins,all from 1930's, 40's, 50's. I never saw these people except one of her cousins who owned a grocery store (before supermarkets), I had to "go to the store" by myself for Mom at age 5. There are also pictures Mom gave me of our family, she made a box for each of us 4 kids. Getting rid of family photos gets rid of history of a family. What to do? I still have 5 boxes of our travels to go through. I'm now 81 and just hate the job. But, then again, each photo brings back memories of our younger days and where we lived and traveled. We came back from overseas when we were in early 60's. Not so many pictures taken after that, except when the twins were born (we were 72 and 74) PapPap took many pictures of those beautiful twins when they were born. I will continue to go through them, but I think I'll keep even less photos for the boys. Then I'll let their Dad have the rest of the job of pitching the whole box.
is it damaged, discolored, smelly? put it in the trash!
is it a magazine, newspaper or catalog? Throw it out. If there is ONE recipe in it, cut that out and put it in a notebook and get rid of the paper item.
is it a greeting card from a family member or friend that is just signed with their name? Get rid of it.
Is it a letter from a friend/family member with a landmark announcement? Keep
is it a letter from family friend, that was just newsy? Throw it away.
put all old photos in a clear shoebox. At some point sort out duplicates and throw them away. If you have no idea of The Who, what, where or when, throw them away.
Books-if you have no plans to re-read the book, get rid of it. Give it to a friend, donate to a senior home or free lending library. If it’s old and smells musty or has mildew on it, throw it away.
One old paperwork-throw old utility bills away, and receipts for anything past it’s warranty period. Throw old manuals to items you no longer use away.
Joshua Becker's videos on decluttering and minimalism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBMKymQczkDxCpE1R2vvA4Q
1 - If worn out, throw out.
I know I can fix a lot of stuff and some clothes may come back in style or be easily repaired, but holding on to this "stuff" just fills the place up.
2 - If I haven't used it in 3 years (average tour of duty), get rid of it.
The only time I break this rule is for items that we didn't use because of climate - like winter coats since we live in Florida but we have family we visit in Chicago.
3 - "Doubles" need to go.
Nobody really needs 10 cans of the same type of soup. Having 1 spare item for food and toiletries is OK. More than that is "hoarder zone".
4 - Streamline every room is more like a swanky hotel.
Ever wonder why we enjoy going to nicer hotels on vacations? It is because the focus is on quality, not quantity. Keep nice sheets on the bed and 1 spare set. Pare down "personal objects" until there is mostly clear table space, then add 1-2 objects of less than 1/2 the room.
5 - Closets - if I haven't worn it this season, it goes.
I tend divide my clothes into spring-summer and fall-winter categories. As each season begins (1 week before school starts and 1 week before spring starts) I try everything on for it. Keep only the ones that make me look great! At the end of the season, if I didn't wear something, out it goes.
6 - Personal/memory items
Decide in advance how much you will keep. Usually 1-2 bins full for a 3 bedroom house. Keep only the items that are beautiful and useful. Take pictures of the rest and send those along to others.
7 - Think donations
Usually, yard sales are a bust. If an items has value try selling on Craigslist or donate to a charity.
Do it a little at a time, but do it consistently.
1. Commit yourself to the job.
2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle or in this case the ideal setting for your loved one
3. Finish discarding first! Sort into three piles: Discard/Trash, Donate, sell
1. If the stuff is in good shape, barely used/worn donate it to Salvation Army or a Charity thrift store for a cause you support. Some large items such as furniture and electronic equipment the shop will have a truck and help to assist with the removal. You can sell/resell items at a consignment shop or antique shop as well.
4. Tidy by category not location. Sort clothes one day etc...
5. Follow the right order: Clothes, books, paper, komono ( small personal items), sentimental items. The purpose of this is to build your brain up, emotions up, to enable you to have strength to let go.
6. Ask yourself if it sparks "joy", if there is no feeling no reason to keep it, let it go.
Source: https://www.penguin.co.uk/articles/2017/goodbye-things-tips.html
I read the book when it first came out and again it did not "Spark Joy".
When I started on Moms she was still living there. I sat her down on a chair and had a bag for trash then a pile to donate and a pile to keep. I would ask donate or keep. Then when that was all done I would take the keep pile and ask, are u sure u want to keep this? On second thought, it went into the donation pile. The donation pile went with me.
After doing that for Mom, I started on my house. Anything left from the girls they were asked if they wanted, if not donation. I have been here 40 years so, if it was something I had never used and wouldn't I got rid of it. Odd dishes, go rid of them. I donated a lot of stuff. Not that there isn't probably more, but will worry about that stuff when we move. Tell my girls not to buy anthing until they check to see if I have it.
Oh, and do one room at a time. Not so overwhelmng.
1. Do they represent family times, memories, things that are comforting to you, or are they business records, etc.?
2. If clothing, are they in usable condition, or do they need repair, or are they just not salvageable? You could keep the first, and the second if you want to repair them, but the third probably would go into the trash bin, or if local charities take clothes for rags, that's an option.
3. Generally, establish your standards for keeping something, whether it's just for pleasure, memory, use, or something just to cherish. Those are keepers. If you don't need it and it's in good condition, it can be donated. If it's in bad condition, old and dilapidated, or dysfunctional, it's probably not worth keeping.
E.g., I found my old 1960s era skis, swim slippers, goggles, my father's skin-diving equipment, an old pickle barrel Mom used to pickle cucumbers, lots of planters, a juke box, and a drafting table.
The skis, flippers and skin diving equipment are probably not in good shape, not usable, and the tanks are well past being current. I think they're in the "thanks for the use but goodbye" category. The pickle barrel wasn't in good condition either, so that too was discarded. The planters and pots merely need to be washed and can be used. They're keepers. The juke box and drafting table can be cleaned up and used, and the juke box might be sole to an antique shop.
Another example: Dad had a rototiller and shredder used in the garden. I don't know how to fix the tiller and maintain it, and same with the shredder. In addition, there are newer, easier to use and more progressive models. With a few tears for the good use they've provided, I sacrificed them to the scrap pile.
Does this make sense? Just ask again if you need further explanation.
*groan* Good one!
We went through this first when my mom died and my dad went into assisted living. My mother was a hoarder (think one drawer stuffed with nothing but rubber bands from newspapers), and it was a horrible ordeal. Who knows how much that was valuable was lost because it was buried under mountains of stuff?
A few years later when my dad died, he had almost all the walls of his apartment covered in framed awards, certificates, and diplomas for almost everything he had ever done. Well, they all ended up in a dumpster, because nobody is going to keep that kind of stuff. Keep that in mind when you are deciding what of your own you want to keep. One person's treasure is another person's trash. We can't take it with us.
Having the things leave the house immediately is a good thing for me, there is no temptation to check what is in the bags and boxes. This is part of the reason that I am not selling anything or having a free garage sale.