Although my mother states that she wishes for all 3 of the siblings to have this information, my sister insists that she is only sparing our feelings and does not wish us to have this information. In short, someone is not telling the truth and my mother is still legally competent but repeated attempts to garner this information as to determine what are the optimal paths to insure my mother's quality of life have remained hidden from me. Do I have any legal recourse to hnave this information relased?
As I have been the sibling on the other side of this situation I urge you to examine how you have asked your sister to release this financial information and also to ask your mother. My mother personally doesn't want my siblings involved in her business. In the mean time I have been treated as a criminal and abandoned by my family. I don't wish this heartache on any other family.
I hope you and your sister can work things out.
To make the point clear, Suppose Mother says, over and over, to anyone who will listen, "I want my children to share in my estate equally. I want my Grandchild Joe to have my classic car when I am gone." Then she dies and her valid will says that the proceeds of the sale of her home should be split evenly among her chilfen, and that the entire rest of the estate goes to Grandchild Joe. Who do you think gets the estate? What she has talked about forever, or what she has actually put in writing on a legal document?
Mother can say until she is blue in the face and you are all sick of hearing it, "get along and work together." But it is what she has put on a legal document that counts.
If she is still of sound mind, perhaps you can convince her of this truth. If not, I don't see what else you can do but back off. Having responsibility but no authority is an untennable situation.
"Mother, Sister will handle this for you. Brother and I have no say in the matter. This is how you have set it up, legally. If you change your mind, we'll do our best to help with decision making. But otherwise, please just discuss this with Sister."
Good luck!
My brother acknowledges this and has mentioned getting her to a lawyer, having the lawyer explain good and correct planning, and avoiding the guardianship problem. No one has made a move to do this. Mom is 82.
I asked my son in law, who is an attorney, what I should do. He advised me that i have made a "good faith" effort to do the right thing. Now bow out.
It is your sister's responsiblity to honor your mother's wishes. If this is how she is now and your mother is competent, I will hate to think how she will be later.
I would talk to your mother about her wishes. Has your mother always been honest with you? Mine is very sneaky and I do not trust her one bit.
Frustratedson, don't let this make you unhappy and stressed. I did that and it hurt my health. I am so over it. When the time comes to help Mom, my brother will dictate what he wants me to do. Right. Like Jeanne Gibbs says responsiblity without authority is an untennable situation. I will not help him, it is his responsibility and he is too stupid and arrogant to see what was coming down the road.
I believe in karma. My brother will get what he sows, Mom will get what she sows and so will your sister if her intentions are not honorable. Talk to you Mom and then just step back.
Are you worried that your sister is mishandling the funds? Do you have some evidence?
I don't think that there is any requirement for a POA to provide financial details to other family members. Remember that your mother chose Sister to manage her finances. Maybe you could do better. Maybe Sister could do better with your input. But it was/is Mother's decision that Sister should do it. Mother can change her mind about that at any time while she is legally competent, but unless she does, Sister is in charge.