My aging friend has noticed significant fatigue and tiredness, all day long, during recurrent urinary tract infections. The fatigue is out of proportion to her usual feeling of being mildly tired. Have you seen this in your elderly relatives or friends
The increased tiredness associated with the UTI's I had attributed to the back pain. But, now I think it is a combination of the UTI and the exhaustion from the back pain.
Then, she would not listen to common sense about preventing falls. Did not use her walker, or sit down to put on pants or pj's. Tried to get to places without asking for assistance even though we repeatedly warned her that she would fall and if that happened she would be at risk of not being able to stay in her home. She was like a little kid trying to get by with something - I do understand her frustration at not being able to do what she used to do, but it is what it is. Unfortunately. She did fall - and broke her hip twice. That made it mandatory that she never be left alone and assisted living would not keep her since she needed two people to get her bathed, etc.
Also, she 'modified' her meds when trusted to take them. She thought the 'cost too much' so began cutting them in half! When meds don't work and one won't take them properly, something has to be done. Also, since she would stop a course of antibiotics mid treatment, infections would come back.
In the nursing home, she gets, I think, 3 baths (or whatever is the minimum required by law) a week. She won't 'pay for extras because I don't want anybody to think I am getting special treatment'. Three baths is not enough when a person is incontinent 'both ways'. Talk about more bacteria!
What evolved is a situation where my BIL sold her home so there was no going back. I do have experience having her in our home and attempting to keep her clean enough. It really is not possible. It takes two people to lift her and to really get her 'parts' clean, well, I don't believe they are doing that in the nursing home. It is pretty intimate and she draws her line. So the end result of all of this is, it is what it is. It is very much like trying to care for a willful (yet loving, just stubborn and with a totally cognizant mind) three year old that weights 160 plus.
In the end, I think there is a lot of blame that gets spread around about who should be responsible for why she gets these so much. What I have learned is that in many ways, SHE is the one, regardless of the fact that in her day, a lot of these subjects weren't even broached or things were viewed differently, who is mostly responsible for where it is now. At this point, maintenance antibiotics (they don't really work), more heavy duty antibiotics if she has a 'bout', and doing the best she and everyone who takes care of her can, to get her to the toilet and bath her semi regularly is about all that can be done.
I'll tell you one thing though. As caregivers everyone on this site knows what a burden physically, emotionally, in every way caring for an old, sick person is. There are things we CAN do to not be those people in 20 or 30 years. Regular, reasonable exercise and a good diet, not being stupid and doing things physically that we should not do (my husband with two knee replacements no longer argues with me about cleaning the gutters. He has no business on our roof of climbing a ladder. He is NOT 'old' at 62 but does have some things going on that tell him it is a bad idea and only bad can come of it!). We pay $35 for that these days. From the explanation the doctor gave me about the bladder problems, I do Kegels. EVERYDAY. They do work and can give one an edge as they age in these matters. Finally, I WILL ask my doctor questions, I WILL take meds as directed, and I WILL be reasonable so that my kids don't throw up their hands and decide I cannot be trusted to take care of myself to some extent. We are on the cusp, people and are looking at our futures if we don't learn from our parents' mistakes.
I've heard that having to wear Depends makes the more susceptible to the problem as well.
Good Luck!!!
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