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Mom is moving to an AL place where meals are served in a dining room 3 times a day. But I worry she may forget to go eat. She does not have dementia officially but since her stroke has been forgetful and time is fuzzy for her now.

I'm assuming mealtime will be so fun that she will not forget. She will also have snacks in her apartment. Still, is it even possible for someone to become sick from forgetting to eat?

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My mom just lost her appetite. No Alzheimer's or dementia, I think it was her body shutting down. I think the last thing she ate was an egg custard my daughter made for her, like she remembered from her childhood. It was hard to watch her lose so much weight, but the hospice people said don't force her, so we didn't. She died peacefully and quietly in her own bed at home, as she wanted, 5 years ago. We were lucky, she could afford in-home care.
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Yes, it is possible for them to forget to eat. My parents are living at home and often skip meals by accident - the other night I came to see them at 9:00PM and they were just remembering they should eat some dinner (probably just because I showed up with food from the grocery store - they had some already but just hadn't thought of eating it.) As for AL, I just met with some folks at an AL yesterday that we're considering for our parents. The way they run their meals, the management team (who live on site) personally serve coffee at every table, so they get to chat with everyone and make eye contact. It's one of the ways they make sure everyone is coming to meals. They serve meals three times a day, so if someone doesn't come to a meal they check on them and will even bring them a meal on a tray if they're ill. I think it must vary widely depending on the facility, but for some of them at least it seems like it wouldn't be possible for your parent to just forget to eat and no one notices.
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I am a caregiver and have experience with similar issues. I have done online search for reasons why an elder does not eat. Here are a few relevant reasons to this question. Elders are not as active so their hunger diminishes with age, food does not taste like it used to, food served in rest homes tends to be bland, dementia- simply forgetting to eat, forgetfulness of where things are in their kitchen so why bother cooking also forgetting that they have something cooking in the pan they get side-tracked or doze off. There are also possibilities of an underlying illness like acid reflux or other digestive issues. (my mom had this)
Lack of independence they usually don';t drive (doesn't apply to this ?) but is an important factor.
Oh, eating a meal with friends in a social atmosphere and would be all the more reason for her.(him) to enjoy eating a meal. I help 2 ladies who love that kind of thing.
The best way to figure out why an elder is loosing weight or not eating is to spend meal time with them and even cooking for them with the aroma in the air that usually get's the stomach in the mood for food.
Hope this is helpful.
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I'm surprised no one mentioned the reason I think is major - part of Alzheimers is forgetting, and that includes forgetting paths around one's surroundings, and forgetting how to find things and imagine how to fix them. So when they are living at home, the best thing to do is set up regular meals for them, not expect them to go fix one. Many lose the ability to think ahead, and many choose the exact same meal each time - the best solution as I see it with my experience, is not a verbal one of reminders, but setting up a placemat with a mug of tea or whatever, with a light sandwich or simple lunch. When they come to the table at your suggestion, they see the setup and follow cues to complete the activity of eating. I think they get hungry, but because the task of even navigating between one room and another, as well as remembering what and how to fix anything, they will skip the meal, rather than plan to get up and go find it.
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Yes I think your right, my dad is 84 and very forgetful about eating. The funny thing is he remembers that he didn't eat but makes no attempt to get something to eat. I think after the stroke something happened that shut off his desire for food or what ever it is that tells him it's time to eat. I think in your mom is in e better situation where other people will be attending the meal, she will make friends who will ask her, "Are you coming to dinner ?" My dad is alone with just me, so I ask him are you hungary ? But dinner is the one meal we sit together and have daily.
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My dad both forget to eat and is not interested in food any longer. He wont eat even when we ask him to. We go to great lengths to explain that he ight get sick if he doesn't, but its hard, he just refuses. We basically have to bribe him.
He has dementia and I believe its common to not want to eat. He keeps saying he is not hungry. He does however eat biscuits and yoghurt and loves bananas. Very tiring though.
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Most AL's have assigned seating, so they can tell who is missing from the table. They will then check on them and remind them it is mealtime.
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I don't know if all AL facilities watch whether a person eats or if some just hand out the food. I will tell you that, when my grandma was in the hospital, if my Mom and her siblings weren't there at mealtime, that grandma didn't recognize that she should eat the food in front of her and, when the meal was done, the nurse would just come and take the uneaten food away. I don't know if the ALs would do the same, but you can't expect a person will eat even if the tray is right in front of them. If the person has lost interest in eating or just doesn't remember to eat, someone has to make sure they eat.
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If you didn't eat for some time, you would probably get a headache. Of course, one can become ill from not eating and yes patients who are "fuzzy" do not get signals from their brains activating the appetite. My husband, who has dementia to a lesser degree, does "forget" to eat if I am not here (while I go shopping, errands). So talk with staff about knocking on your mom's door and "reminding" her to go eat in the dining room. Caution: with snacks in her room she made snack all day and not be hungry to eat her prepared meals. Limit those snacks!
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It is up to the facilities employees to see that your parent gets to meals or is served them in his/her room. Of course, many seniors in these places don't eat much, but that is closely monitored, also. And because your parent is forgetting many other things as the disease and age progress, he or she will forget to eat. My father as a caregiver didn't watch much what my mother had to eat or forgot to eat all day, with the result that she lost almost 40 lbs. in 4 months.
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