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I need help to pay her what service do i apply for hard to pay out of pocket.

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my son is 36
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Does your son receive SSI? If so, he should also qualify for medicaid. Check into any adult "day care" programs that might be in your area, where you can drop him off so you can go to work, and then pick him up afterwards.
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Meant to say medicare* (although he may also qualify for medicaid too)
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Seems to me that your son should qualify, and unless he recently became disabled. should have been qualifying for years for some type of disability benefit. Dies he get anything now that you haven't mentioned? When and how did he become disabled, at what age? Have you talked to Social Security? More information, please.
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Besides getting SSI and Title 19, I would work to get your son on a waiver program, such as the Intellectual Disability Waiver or Ill and Handicapped Waiver. You will do this through the Department of Human Services in your area. He will get a case manager who can work with you to locate appropriate resources. There are a lot of programs for people with all types of disabilities.

My son is 22 with Down Syndrome. He goes daily to a vocational program and lives in a supported living apartment. He loves his room-mates and is becoming more independent and confident. He is so proud to get a (trust me, very teeny-tiny) paycheck.

There are also Day Habilitation programs, Supported Employment, and Respite programs. We also have Consumer's Choice Option and I believe it is available in all states. Through this program, the client can hire his/her own staff to assist in daily living, so your son would have funds to pay whomever provided services, including family members.

As always, there is a lot of paperwork to get things started, but getting a case manager is a good first step. You could also contact the ARC for your local area if he has an intellectual disability.

Also, please start to make plans now for the day when you are no longer able to care for your son. Even if you want to keep him home a little longer, the day will most likely come when you are not able to do it. I cried my heart out the first day my son slept at his new apartment, but I can see him as often as I want and talk to him on the phone every day. When I ask him if he wants to come for a visit and he tells me he is too busy, I know I made the right choice.

I also have a Supplemental Needs trust for him, have people who will be his future guardians, and am using a Partnership Program to protect my assets from Estate Recovery when I need care for myself.
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