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Yes. Definitely.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
Yes she does. What do you think is a fair amount?
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Yes, if she has the money.  You are gifting your time to you aunts and uncles, say no more.  They want to preserve their estate on your back
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Cpw6960 May 2020
What do u think is a fair amount?
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Chris, the amount that is fair depends on what you are providing. Does she live in your home? Do you live in her house? Is she able to do anything for herself?

If you provide more info you will get better results.

You should definitely be getting paid. If her 6 children don't like it they can step up and take care of her.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
I live with her. Because she needs 24 hour care. I get her in and out of the bed in into her wheelchair change her depends, get her on the toilet, clean up after that, showers, get her in the living room transfer her to her chair, prepaid all meals, grocery shop. In up until January took her to all her appointments, and out shopping. Now she has hospice involved. In that the biggest waste.
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Chris, I personally believe that you should be paid at least 1,000.00 weekly and get your room and board if you are required to be present 24/7.

That is less than minimum wage for 16 hours a day. You didn't mention being up all night so I am assuming that grandma sleeps well and that you get a good nights rest.

Oops, wrong button. I accidentally posted before I was done.

This amount pays you 8.92 hourly for 16 hour days. And since she requires you to live in I don't personally think that you should have to consider that as part of your pay or that you should be paying for your food and utilities, she requires a live in so she bears all the expenses.

Because you are family there are some different rules, but you would be very wise to have grandma pay for a certified elder law attorney to draw up a contract and hire a payroll agency to process your payments. That way it is all legal and you are contributing to your retirement by funding social security.

Best of luck, I imagine that her children will try to make you feel crappy for wanting to be treated fairly in this. Stand your ground and remind them that they don't have to do it because you are and care costs money and lots of it, period.

I believe that we should treat our loved ones at least as fairly as we would a stranger that we are paying to do the work, but I think I am a minority in my thinking.
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EVERY family caregiver should be compensated, IMO.

If you are keeping her out of a facility, that is an immense cost savings to the family and a terrible burden, financially and otherwise for the person doing care at home who can't work.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
Thank you. It is a huge burden. What do you think a reasonable amount would be
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What would it cost to have facility care?

That is the amount that is being "saved" so that money should be available for caregiver wages and adequate respite for caregiver.

Find out What AL and NH cost is in your area.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
Do you know how I would go about that? I live in Maryland. She’s 91 turns 92 on me 19. She has six daughters. To which live directly across the street and all they do is fill her medication which we have to go across the street and pick up and bring across the street in the last 18 days they’ve been over three times for a total of 15 minutes. Otherwise I’m here 24 hours a day. Except for when I go pick my kids up and go spend an hour or two with them! Otherwise we’ve been in the house with Nana
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Tell us how you ended up caring for her.

On this site, you can click " find care" and put in your zip code. Contact A Place for Mom and ask them to assess her for care. Find out what it would cost and what facilities have availability.

Notify whomever is POA that you are resigning on June 1.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
I end up taking care of my grandmother in 2013. When she was hospitalized with ammonia, urinary tract infections we had in care/on call coming to take care of her with physical therapy, home nursing, amongst other things! Over the last seven years she has been in and out of the hospital! And then in January a family member recommended hospice! Where they came in since then! No one has taken care of her! Except for me! Hospice has done nothing except for comfort every other week maybe once a month! And say call us if it’s an emergency! My grandmother is very needy and used to being spoiled! Her daughters live directly across the street in the only thing they do is fill her prescriptions and that’s it. And we have to walk across the street to get her prescriptions every day! My grandmother does not want them to be involved at all! But they are the power of attorney! She is still very coherent and able to make it her own decisions! I don’t know if I can hire an attorney so I can be the power of attorney like she wants me to be!
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Cpw6960, I see you live in the Washington DC metro area, therefore senior facilities will be quite expensive. If Grandmother was placed in an Assisted Living facility it could cost her $6k to $8k per month, yes per month. But since your Grandmother is on Hospice, she should stay at home.

Oh dear, sounds like no one informed you about the Hospice practices, and what is involved. Hospice does not provide any caregiving services. A nurse will visit once a week to take vitals. An Aide would come in to bathe Grandmother. A volunteer will come in to read or chat with Grandmother. If that is not happening, then I wonder if Hospice is really on the schedule. I know both my parents had Capital Care Hospice and that organization was great.

Curious, why is Grandmother on Hospice? Usually Hospice is called if a person has 6 months or less to live.

All in all, you should be paid. My Dad had caregivers from an Agency, and the Agency charged $30 per hour for around the clock, 3 shifts daily. In my opinion, one person cannot do the work of 3 shifts daily.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
She should not be. She has went down hill since being on hospice since January. They came in. In gave this great sales pitch. On all these things they have to offer. In most of them have never happened. We can’t even get her main nurse. To come her take vitals, check wounds, and so on. All she does. Is check in to see what meds are needed. In less something is going on with my Nana. In then they will send someone out from Gilcrst.

Im not in it for the money. As I’m on permanent disability. In receive a little money from that. After having 6 back surgeries. But they think giving me $350 a week. I should be happy. My whole life is consumed bye taking care of her. I work all 3 shifts. In with all the heavy lifting. It takes a huge toll on my back, and body. You basically paid what I get for a month. For a 24 hour shift. In its not like she does not have money, and a nice retirement. Coming in each month.

Dont get me wrong. My children spend a-lot of time with us. They love each other a lot. In if they have things there involved with, or would like to do. For the most part I can slip away for awhile. But my phone constantly rings while I’m gone.

It’s just one of those sad situations. My Nana has 6 daughters, around 30 grandchildren, and 10 plus great grandchildren. In its a rare occasion to see one of them visit. In we have family that lives on the same street as us.
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Grandma can change her PPA if she is still competent. SHE pays for the lawyer

Why do your aunts have the meds?

I think you need to leave June 1.

Your obligation is to your children. Go home.
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Cpw6960 May 2020
My mom does her meditation, and bills. She is the POA. In wants to act like she is in control of something.
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Cpw6960, oh my gosh, give noticed that you are resigning as of June 1st. Heavy lifting + back surgeries are not good partners. You could damage your back to a point of no return, that's not worth $2.00 an hour in my book. It's not worth any amount of money.

I bet Grandmother's daughters or even Grandmother doesn't have a "workman's comp" policy rider on Grandmother's home, in case you get hurt on the job.

In the mean time, if you need help with lifting Grandmother, call one of her daughters to come over to help, chances are they won't being they are seniors themselves. Ask for suggestions because you cannot lift Grandmother.

You mentioned you work around the clock, thus put in close to 168 hours per week. Check on the Maryland State laws on caregivers to see if the State has a limit on how many hours a paid caregiver can work.

Also please note, close to 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were caring. How fair would that be to your own children?
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