My mother has been in AL for five months and is doing very well. We have an excellent relationship. I see her once a week and we speak on the phone every other day. Her caregivers are lovely, and the supervisory staff responds quickly and thoughtfully.
Mom obviously has dementia but has never had a medical workup/official diagnosis. I'm wondering if I should ask for one, and if so, why? I don't know how a diagnosis would change anything about how we help her manage her life, or how we interact with her. TIA.
If you are not her PoA but are currently managing her medical and financial affairs please be aware that you have no legal right (or protection) to do so. The law demands that each person who is incapacitated have a legally assigned representative. It's either you (as PoA) or the county. There is no 3rd choice.
Some adult children do get away with managing their parent's affairs without being PoA, but when medical issues start to arise, you may find that the doctors cannot disclose her medical information to you with the proper MPoA or HIPAA release documents. As the cost of her care increases not being her FPoA may become a problem as well. I'm sure others on this site can contribute their own personal stories.
When you say she "obviously has dementia", what does this mean? Does she have short-term memory problems? Because if so, this may not prevent her from creating a PoA since remembering it is not the issue, but rather understanding it. An elder law attorney would privately interview her to make this assessment. So don't let this prevent you from taking her to an attorney to see if she's able to create a PoA.
My LOs POAs were active the minute they were signed. No need for testing to activate it as it’s legality did not depend on incompetence.
Read the POA to see when your moms is in force, under what circumstances.
Sometimes it is not clear if a person has a specific dementia. Sometimes a person has more than one type. My DH aunt found the testing stressful and was able to realize that her memory was worse than she had originally thought. Your mom may not mind it. I wanted her tested in order to learn what I could in regard to where she should live, what medications might help and which should be avoided.
I can’t really say it was helpful beyond giving me the assurance I was doing all I could for her and to establish a base line. She tolerated the MRI which was interesting but not that revealing.
Your mom sounds like a sweetie and that things are going well. You are doing a great job.