Sister is younger and given POA. She thinks that makes her the boss over everyone. I am the oldest. I don’t know why parents gave her such a task. Sister started to treat me poorly since COVID, like I do not exist to her. She made all decisions for parents without telling me about parents' wellbeing and what doctors were saying. She is a Trustee now along with my mom and when anything happens to them both her and I are the Trustees. Since my dad passed on in January of this year, I wasn’t included in any of the funeral arrangements and anything else pertaining to my dad and his estate. I recently found out that they want to sell the house. I do not feel I did anything wrong to them and they are treating me this way. Sister works with the State as a Public Health Nurse and she acts this way. What to do?
I would make very good friends with sister, offer help when needed, befcause as I said, she is the.
Can you tell me why the decision of your sister to sell the Mom's home is in any way relevant to you? Do you live in this house. I must assume that this house is being sold so that your Mom has funds for her care.
As I said, unless you get along with Sister I am afraid you are basically "frozen out" so I would do all I could to be gentle, lighthearted, happy, helpful, cooperative.
More bees come to honey.
I wish you good luck.
You say your mom is a trustee...but you also mention your mom has dementia. I do not think that your mom is able to be a Trustee if she is not cognizant. (I am sure someone will correct me if that is wrong)
And if I read your profile correctly you are on dialysis. I think you have your plate full with your health and your MIL's health since you are helping your husband care for her. .
BUT if you think there is wrong doing you can report to the State Elder Abuse Hotline. And or you can report to APS, or you can contact an attorney (the most expensive option of them)
Are you living in the same space as your Mom? Who owns the living quarters or are you renting or are you living in the same space as your Mom, rent free?
Regardless of a possible inheritance, IF you do not own, are not a part owner, or do not have a signed legal lease, in the place where you are living, start making plans to move away. Start making plans to be completely financially independent of them. If that means applying for social programs or volunteering for in-kind support, then start doing it.
Their decision to sell the house that your mother is in, might have to do strictly with money and future medical needs and not because your sister doesn't like you. You are lucky that they told you in advance. Some people come home to their belongings on the grass and the doors re-keyed.
...or they might be trying to tell you to move out because they feel you have over-stayed your welcome.
Either way, it is time to start being financially independent of them. Don't argue, just create a future for yourself so good that they wish that they become envious.
Have you tried to calmly have a discussion with her about this? Might be worth a try though it could be a bit difficult too.
How did your sister become co-trustee? It doesn't make sense that both of your status as trustee didn't kick in. I would read the trust carefully and have the attorney that drew it up clarify exactly how this works. The trust should be very clear though.
I pray you find a way to get on the same page with your sister.
Were you a beneficiary of your father's will? Did your father have a will? Who is "they"? If you truly believe that you have been defrauded as a legitimate beneficiary or heir you need to speak with a trust and estate attorney. These are suggestions and not legal advice.