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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Need help dealing with a demanding, hateful elder. She blames her daughter for being in the assisted living home and is mean and hurting her emotionally. Taking a toll on all of the children and their ability to deal with elder.
How long has your mom been in the ALF? It may take awhile for her to adjust. sometimes it’s best to stay away awhile. Let the staff guide you. Always remember that a sudden acceleration of dementia like behavior may be a sign that she has a UTI. Ask that she be tested. If your LO continues to act out it could be that her medication needs adjusting. I know it’s very difficult to see our parents in distress and more difficult for the one being blamed. The support of her siblings is so helpful. I’m glad you are there for sister. If mom is being cared for, perhaps that’s as good as it gets for awhile. Give her space. Hopefully she will adjust.
You can suggest either a social worker or a therapist but that doesn’t mean that she is willing to speak to someone. Very often, stubborn people always blame others for issues. She has to want help in order to receive it.
All I can say is to set boundaries. Don’t be willing to accept something that isn’t appropriate for you. At the same time, respect her as a human being. If a person feels worthless, they most likely won’t have any incentive to improve their situation. Life is terribly bleak without any hope. Then again. some situations are complicated by mental illness or cognitive decline and seem to be a hopeless situation. It’s very frustrating to say the least.
Try to find a healthy balance for all parties involved. This is easier said than done when everyone is stressed out and wanting to prove their point. Make it known that each person is equally important in a family.
I was told by a therapist that family members often treat each other the absolute worst. Most people wouldn’t dare treat anyone else as badly as they do with members of their own family. I find this to be true in many cases. People will hurt those closest to them the most. They take them for granted. This is why setting boundaries are so important.
Either one. If a Social Worker make certain that this is a Licensed Social Worker with special training in life transitions counseling. In general you can only do this work for YOURSELF. Not for other children. That is for them to deal with as they wish, or not.
For your Mom? Won't help because she can no longer be reasoned with. She is in her own little world. She has lost the ability to show empathy.
Your sister has to learn to let what Mom says run off her back. This person is not the mother she new or ever will be. Her brain is broken. Dementia has no ryhmn or reason. Sister has to back off when Mom gets going. Don't answer the phone. Let Mom get used to the aides caring for her. She is safe, care for and fed.
For whom? For mom? For the family? Consider a psychiatrist for mom. My mom was an absolute nightmare until we found a psychiatrist who got her on the right medication. It was a miracle. She went from raging to being content. She is pleasant now. Content.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Always remember that a sudden acceleration of dementia like behavior may be a sign that she has a UTI. Ask that she be tested. If your LO continues to act out it could be that her medication needs adjusting. I know it’s very difficult to see our parents in distress and more difficult for the one being blamed. The support of her siblings is so helpful. I’m glad you are there for sister. If mom is being cared for, perhaps that’s as good as it gets for awhile. Give her space. Hopefully she will adjust.
All I can say is to set boundaries. Don’t be willing to accept something that isn’t appropriate for you. At the same time, respect her as a human being. If a person feels worthless, they most likely won’t have any incentive to improve their situation. Life is terribly bleak without any hope. Then again. some situations are complicated by mental illness or cognitive decline and seem to be a hopeless situation. It’s very frustrating to say the least.
Try to find a healthy balance for all parties involved. This is easier said than done when everyone is stressed out and wanting to prove their point. Make it known that each person is equally important in a family.
I was told by a therapist that family members often treat each other the absolute worst. Most people wouldn’t dare treat anyone else as badly as they do with members of their own family. I find this to be true in many cases. People will hurt those closest to them the most. They take them for granted. This is why setting boundaries are so important.
Best wishes to your family.
Your sister has to learn to let what Mom says run off her back. This person is not the mother she new or ever will be. Her brain is broken. Dementia has no ryhmn or reason. Sister has to back off when Mom gets going. Don't answer the phone. Let Mom get used to the aides caring for her. She is safe, care for and fed.
Consider a psychiatrist for mom. My mom was an absolute nightmare until we found a psychiatrist who got her on the right medication. It was a miracle. She went from raging to being content. She is pleasant now. Content.