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Hi So I know this is question that is hard to answer but based on your experiences with your loved ones what stage of vascular dementia do you think my mom is in. I’ve read lots of stuff. Watched numerous videos on this but I’m unsure.


My mom is 95. She had incontinence and now bowel issues. She’s getting weaker with walker, sleeping a bit more. Appetite is ok not great. She’s time shifting. She’s living in the past where she thinks her mom is alive etc. Knows who I am, but thinks I’m way younger than I am.


She has zero emotions now, more withdrawn.


Any insight?

Stage doesn't matter. Address what's currently going on with her now... maybe consider hospice since she's withdrawing, becoming weak and losing appetite. Keeping her comfortable, pain-free and peaceful is most important.
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Reply to Geaton777
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By the time my mother was 95 and acting similarly to how yours is, she was at the advanced stage of vascular dementia (in the 6th year of it) and passed away a month after her 95th birthday. We'd had hospice on board for 3 months by then. Vascular dementia has about a 5 year lifespan to it, so how long has mom been suffering with it? That's a pretty good way to determine where she's at in staging. I believe mom was having lots of TIAs towards the end, because she was slumping over in her wheelchair something awful.

My mother always recognized me, right up till the end, even when she was a young girl again and referring to me as her mother. She still knew my name. Alzheimer's is the disease where they more commonly forget loved ones faces.

I read your other posts and I know you're anxious about mom and all of this, how can you not be? I was too, but I let the staff in her memory care AL do the caregiving and I remained moms daughter and advocate, because that's the best we can do. Don't second guess yourself. The dementia is the bad guy here, not you or what you're doing or not doing. Mom's had vascular dementia for 4+ years now, you said, so she's likely approaching the end of her suffering. I prayed daily for God to take my mother, I get it.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I'm just going to say that I hope and pray that you have hospice on board now, as they will better be able to answer any questions you may have about how much longer your mom may have to live.
Like already said, vascular dementia's life expectancy is just 5 years, as it is the most aggressive of all the dementias, but often folks with it also have some other kind of dementia along with it, so that can prolong things a bit.
Only God knows the day and time that He will call her Home, so just try and enjoy whatever time you may have left with her.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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My mom was noticeably ill at 95 and died at 99, she lived her final 18 months in the nursing home and while there was as completely dependent as a newborn baby.
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We do want to support you but your question, "any insight?" is so vague and could mean practical advice and not just emotional support, since you listed a lot of her health issues and not what's going on in your heart. Everything about dementia is hard, and so many on this website have gone through what you're experiencing now. May you receive peace in your heart on this journey.
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While mild, medium & advanced Dementia are ok labels I guess, they don't help much. I really dislike any number system & find them useless.

The only scale I can find value in is Teepa Snow's list of gems. The more advances stages are Ruby & Pearl.

If your question really is *how long* there is no easy answer. It may be hard for medical staff that know your Mother really well to have a knowledgeable guess. No-one on a forum can of course.

Plan what you can. Choose her service details, songs, readings if you really want to be prepared. Then go with the flow. This slower flow, for as long as it is.
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I think if you want a staging number (and this has never made sense to me at all; I fail to see how it can matter) you are best to ask her doctor. He will be the best judge of is patient overall and as a whole. While you may give us a paragraph or two of information, it would be wrong (even of me as an old retired RN) to guess at something like "stage".

I will say that at 95 you may be looking for age related decline without any dementia at all. And at end of life and end of life decisions. Certainly that is true of the mobility. She would be having that decline, and wanting more sleep and less food and having less continence, etc., without ANY dementia whatsoever.

Can you tell us why this letter/numeral thing matters to you at all? You say that you are doing lots of reading. If so, I think I would include "end of life issues" in the research at this point more than
"vascular dementia issues". I believe that this may be the most prevalent issue for you and your mom and her medical team going forward.
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Anxietynacy Jun 22, 2024
I agree stage doesn't matter, and everyone is different I don't see how it can be accurate too..

Also sometimes they can have a very quick decline. Or they can stay steady for a long time.

There is very little rhyme or reason to any of it
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KittyKat, Your post asked what stage your M is at. Now you say that “Saying and asking why does it matter I find a little hurtful. I’m looking for support and not judgement”. You can’t control what other people say, even what they think is helpful. If you simply want unqualified ‘support’, not wanting answers to a question, perhaps make it clear that you are just venting. And please make any further comments on the original thread, not on your new 'Thanks' post.
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MargaretMcKen Jun 23, 2024
Sometimes I think that posters should write their own answer to their question, instead of waiting to tell responders that's not what they wanted to hear. But I'm not comfortable at the moment, and it doesn't improve my temper....
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Per Beatty's reference to the Teepa Snow "gem" stages of dementia:

https://www.nursepartners.org/resources/the-gems/

Your LO seems to be between Ruby and Pearl.

My Aunt was diagnosed at 89 (but had symptoms well before that which we didn't connect the dots and recognize). At almost 101, she could still read the closed caption words while watching a movie (she read them accurately and out loud the entire movie without comprehending the storyline). She could walk if supported with the belt or a walker, she fed herself, brushed her own teeth, needed hygiene help, could play some card and board games, could still recognized people closest to her. I'd say she was in the Ruby stage cognitively for many years. Had she not fallen and broken her hip (which hastened her passing), who knows how long she would have lived... she was in her home with good care, eating good food, being exercised and socialized. Her surviving sister is now 105 (with only mild memory issues). The stages are so individual, I'm not sure I would rely on it too much regarding your LO.
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I would say the 6th stage or beginning of 7th.
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