I mentioned before her being 83 and living states away. Eventually something is going to happen, she has a DNR and has left most of her finances and home in my name but that is only in the event of death. What happens otherwise I mean if she has to be placed in a nursing home or falls and breaks a hip? I am clueless. She is so hard to talk to I am even nervous about bringing any of this up with her. Suggestion appreciated. Blessings to all.
You should also obtain an Advanced Directive. Some people call it a "medical POA". It states that in the event your parent can't make healthcare choices on their own, they appoint you to make them instead. I also had this for my dad and I had to use it.
In caregiving or when one has an elderly parent these two documents are vital.
Does she have her DNR posted on her refrigerator? Is it signed by a physician? (The only kind paramedics, at least in Illinois, will honor.)
If she falls and breaks a hip, she'll have hip surgery, assuming she is physically strong enough for surgery. Most are. If she isn't? Most likely, she'll be placed on hospice either at home or in a nursing home. In most states, one person living alone cannot be placed on Medicare Hospice without adequate in-home healthcare. Otherwise, she would be placed, by social services powers, into a nursing home for hospice care.
If she has the surgery, Medicare (and presumably a decent supplement) will cover everything. From surgery, she'll be placed into a nursing home for rehabilitation therapy, paid for the same way. Rehab therapy will include physical, occupational and (in some cases) speech therapy. They like to give all three because they get paid for those three therapies automatically with a senior
She'll stay in therapy until she stops improving, at which time, they'll look at a discharge plan for her. Where's she going? Can she live alone? Is anyone available to care for her? If they don't believe she's safe? They'll recommend and push for nursing home placement.
Hate to say this, but you should have had her healthcare and financial powers of attorney a long time ago. That should be tops on your priority list. Time for "the conversation."
My Dad had a fall and my Mom didn't come to hospital because she felt because she couldn't hear or see very well, she wouldn't be able to understand the doctors. That's when I had an ah ha moment, that my parents needed to update their medical POA. What if Dad's fall was life threatening and Mom had to make some medical decisions, she couldn't.
Then I looked at my own medical POA, and my parents were my POA. Oops, I need to change that, too.