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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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I never thought another woman existed who complained. My MIL has complained and has been miserable all her life. After my FIL died, nobody came around. Nobody wants anything to do with her because of her manipulative ways and her misery. My husband and I got stuck taking care of her because my husbands sister "washed her hands" of her because she's difficult to deal with.
It makes him resent her more (and his sister too). Nobody wants to be surrounded by misery. He can't stand being around his mother. She's 82 and the most horrible person to be around. She'll pretend to be nice to you to get her own way, and then will CLING to you like velcro to always want to be in your business, but she will be MISERABLE when she talks to you. She's always thought she was the cats meow, and my husband said all her life she's felt entitled.
Nothing makes her happy. No matter what we do for her. She'll demand all of our time, and then complain about it.
I can only tell you it will get worse as she gets older. We tell my MIL to "stop complaining" all the time. She complains about living here in Canada, about the cold weather about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN LIFE. It's extremely depressing.
You are not a bad person for feeling sick and tired of dealing with it. I really feel for you. I'm going through the same thing.
Is this new behavior? Perhaps it's time to have her meds adjusted or to check for a UTI? UTI can make for a lot of acting out that an antibiotic can help with. I don't know how long you've been caring for your mom or what her health issues are but maybe it's time for some respite care for a week or so?
cryssy, we need more information, such as does your Mom have dementia or other memory issues? What are her health issues? Are you living with her or her with you.
One has to realize it is very tough getting old. The elder loses a lot of independence that we take for granted. Friends have either moved to senior living or have passed away. One's hearing starts to fade, and the same with eyesight. Now food doesn't even taste good, etc.
I think this happens often with family and an elderly person that way very well be having some form of cognitive impairment. Elderly people having this issue certainly do not need people that are frustrated with the fact that their parent is frustrating to deal with. It scares them even more, if someone is upset with them. They are already upset with being old and tired. Too many details on topics lead to argument and the elderly person is unable to defend their position. Yep, frustration is a large part of this. It is real. Just don't get frustrated with your aging parent. Do what you can. Find common ground and focus on that.
My mother is also mean. Threatens to disinherit her kids, if anyone crosses her. I read the posts about it is difficult to be old, and just be considerate. It is hard to do when someone says awful things to you.
There are elderly people who don't behave this way so we can't just say that old age is the cause. I know elderly folks who have lost far more than my mother and they don't engage in constant complaints and pity parties. Of course everyone has their days. The important thing to remember is that we are not responsible (nor capable) of fixing all the things that make them unhappy. Help when you can and accept your own limits of being able to solve their misery.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It makes him resent her more (and his sister too). Nobody wants to be surrounded by misery. He can't stand being around his mother. She's 82 and the most horrible person to be around. She'll pretend to be nice to you to get her own way, and then will CLING to you like velcro to always want to be in your business, but she will be MISERABLE when she talks to you. She's always thought she was the cats meow, and my husband said all her life she's felt entitled.
Nothing makes her happy. No matter what we do for her. She'll demand all of our time, and then complain about it.
I can only tell you it will get worse as she gets older. We tell my MIL to "stop complaining" all the time. She complains about living here in Canada, about the cold weather about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN LIFE. It's extremely depressing.
You are not a bad person for feeling sick and tired of dealing with it. I really feel for you. I'm going through the same thing.
I don't know how long you've been caring for your mom or what her health issues are but maybe it's time for some respite care for a week or so?
One has to realize it is very tough getting old. The elder loses a lot of independence that we take for granted. Friends have either moved to senior living or have passed away. One's hearing starts to fade, and the same with eyesight. Now food doesn't even taste good, etc.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/bad-behavior-by-elderly-parents-138673.htm