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My parents have never let me live; they control everything. They say I was perfectly raised until i was 18 when i went "off to college and learned the ways of the world. Then i become spoiled and question their authority." Actually, i saw friends' parents welcome young adults into the world - independent and free. I was so manipulated that i never knew this existed. I thought everyone's parents were calculating and controlling like mine. College was a real eye opener!
When i questioned them and suggested that perhaps they should strive to let me be more independent, they said not everyone had such good parents as I and when i was ready they would let me know.
They restricted me more. I moved out. They chased me down, called my work so much i got in trouble.
Everyday, they tell me they wish i was five again, when i knew how to behave like a proper lady. When i call them on it, they say it is a joke, what is wrong with me.
They are both in 90s now. The other day they said i would get to enjoy myself when they are gone and told me how much i will miss them. I know i won't. I have mourned for decades not having real parents.
They tell me this at least once a week, and i keep to myself how i feel, but soon i will not. It is jarseres everyday.
How horrible will i be when i just tell them they are a burden and i hope they die soon?

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captain, some folks have too much starch in their shorts, but we can always count on you to have no shorts at all. :-)
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You won't miss them, you will go on wishing it could have been different. You'll go on wishing they would just love you for what you are. Tell them that, and if that doesn't make them change their attitude, get up and go, tell them you'll just keep wishing.
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aging parents will drive you nuts but dammit, you have to stand up to them. in my mothers final hours she told me she felt safe with me cause " altho i was sometimes gullible" meaning not a penny shredding capitalist like herself, she said i had guts and it made her feel protected. id hack up the incredible hulk with an aircraft propeller or its convenient equivalent..
im trying to be a d**k here, goddammit, somebody work with me.. sh* t..
fraid ive commited myself to a crappy joke. ya know how copper wire was invented? two people of the jewish religion fighting over a penny.
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I have a feeling this is the same person who wrote the similar sounding one under discussions. And I get the feeling they dwell under a bridge.
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just funnin around countrymouse. some of these chatgroups get too mundane.
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No, don't tell them that. Stay above the fray.
How often do you see them or talk to them? I would take a 2 week vacation to Mexico and not be available for awhile. They'll get by.
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It would be very horrible of you to say that. I might be in favor of it anyway, if it would do any good.

The way to live your own life is to live your own life, not to talk about doing it.

Your parents say things to you everyday that you don't want to hear? Did you know that there is no requirement -- not in law, not in religion, not in ethics -- that you have to talk to them everyday?

Get out that ax and cut the umbilical cord. Most parents do that themselves, but there is no rule that it can't be done from your end.

You didn't have a choice when you were 6. You are 36 now. No excuses.

The way to live your own life is to live your own life.
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such a conversation might be avoided if you were to just become more assertive towards them. they may only be guilty of trying to protect you from a world that theyve learned is cruel and dishonest. they can be stark freakin nuts and still love you and mean well for you.
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better hope it aint the bridge i live under cause if you jump im ok with sex down to about 86 body temp. below that it just gets creepy and i dont want to be renowned as creepy.
i call BS anyway. i went into the army at age 17 , stayed till i was 20 and returned home a force to be dealt with. told my parents to lose the stupid childhood nickname for me and treat me as a free thinking adult or id hack em to bits with an aircraft propeller. ( or a more convenient equivalent ) .
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thanks, everyone for listening and your answers. obviously, i'm not going to tell them i anxiously await their death, but i did need to vent. and as horrible as telling them sounds, seeing the suggestion on a forum is equally awful.
taking advantage of the long weekend, i took my counselor's suggestion for respite. i stocked their fridge, employed a friend who's a nurse to look in on them and help my father change his bandages on his pre-cancer skin wound, told them to leave a message on my answering machine if they needed me which i would be checking periodically. I would return Monday and call them then. I very deliberately neglected telling them where I was going.
by Saturday, I had three calls from them (my answering system records the incoming number, date, and time) - one at 7:30am, one at 1:30pm, and one at 5:30pm. the first two were hang ups. the third was a message saying it was the time I was supposed to call and check on them, but since I was "out enjoying myself and neglecting my duty," they thought they would call me and let me know that they were just fine and that I "really shouldn't trouble" myself with worrying about them "while away from my duties" this weekend.
their passive aggressive message just irritated me - enough to strengthen my resolve to contact the social worker to start the steps to, as they would say, "put them in a home."
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