I’m having trouble understanding why my mother never expresses any gratitude or a thank you for taking care of her daily. She asks me why am I mad, I tell her I’m not mad I’m tired. I don’t like being a caregiver, I need help putting her to bed at night, getting her up in the morning, making breakfast, lunch, dinner. I’m tired and getting very depressed.
That’s my answer.
I wish my mom could say “Thanks” but in her condition, it probably will never happen. Yet, I still continue to care for her.
I imagine as a kid, I probably never thanked her for caring for me either. She did an amazing job caring for 10 kids. Yet out of the 7 living children, only one stepped forward to care for her in her last season of life. What a way for her children to say “thanks”.
Being a caregiver does not have to be a 100% DIY project. Even if no other family around, contact your local Area Agency on Aging. She may be eligible for some help at home based on income and level of care...and they can give you a list of private pay non-medical home care agencies.
Even if she doesn't like having someone come in, refusing is not an option.
Saving her money (relying on free care from you) is also not an option. Her money is for her needs, now. Inheritance is what is left over after she dies.
She won't always be happy...and may not start appreciating you.
Your first responsibility is to yourself, and your second is to be sure her basic needs are met. Hiring helpers to meet those needs for her at times is the best way to meet your responsibility for yourself.
It is a hard part of the road, this getting old business. Take good care.