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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am so tired of people always willing to give an opinion when they know nothing of our family situation and especially when they have never been a caregiver so they know nothing about how stressful it is to do.
I know its hard enough to be a caregiver, we certainly don't need to hear judgement or insensitive comments. It felt like more insult to injury when I was carrying the burden of taking care of my dad.
In hindsight, I wish I was more assertive and I could calmly say "I know you mean well, but what you are saying is not helpful and please don't say that again to me."
Take care of yourself the best you can. Sending hugs!
Kootiebear, I remember one time at work I was grumbling about driving my very elderly parents all over hill and dale... one co-worker said it is only fair as my parents drove me when I was younger. Well, I snapped back saying that yes that is true, but when I was a child my parents weren't 65 years old, big difference !!
We can be subjected to religious abuse as caregivers. People can point to the Bible with scripture about a child's duty to parents. The take home message is that if you don't do these things for a parent then God is going to be unhappy and we'll go to hell forever. Most people who do these things feel they are righteous when they do it, but they are actually being controlling and abusive, using God to be that way.
I"m sorry you are getting judged. It's unfortunate. Actually, most of the people that I encounter have some idea of what's involved. They either have dealt with it within their own family or know someone who's done it from church, neighborhood, co-worker, etc. So, the minute I say a word, they look all frozen and in pain.....like they know.
My pet peeve comment was "you should be honored to care for your mother". This was from a cousin who finally showed up at the nursing home the morning her mother died. She knew nothing about my situation.
From now on, I will reply to those who like to tell me how blessed or lucky I am that I still have my mother that SHE is blessed or lucky to have ME. That's what I said the other day, and it was SO satisfying!!! (And the woman looked at me for a few seconds and said, "You are absolutely right.")
JesseBelle, One of the people I work with always has to point out that her husband cared for both of his grandparents by himself while he worked full time. Well let's make him a saint. My sisters who do not help at all think they both know it all. Or people who say how sorry they feel for my Dad because he lost his wife last year and made the choice to sell his house and go into assisted living. Well you know what I lost my Mom, I had to clean out my childhood home with no help except my husband, and I had to help my Dad find the assisted living. Just had enough!
I hate it when a medical professional, such as a therapist, decides to create a task list for me as caregiver, either without understanding or caring that I have been trying to do these things for years and facing resistance.
Even though I told this person I've gone through this enough and learned through experience to choose my battles carefully, she still left me with a verbal list of things she thinks ought to be done.
She is right in some sense that it would increase safety, but she didn't seem to comprehend that I've learned to pick my battles carefully, and even then only the ones I can win. I learned that from a very wise boss back in the late '70s.
With limited energy, I want to focus on what I know I can achieve, not what I've tried unsuccessfully and eventually backed off on because of resistance.
And with my father entering probably the last months of his life, I don't want to quarrel with him; I want each of us to enjoy these times and to be grateful that we had each other in our lives.
I think some people make judgemental comments because it frightens them to think of them in our shoes as caregivers - or - they feel guilty that they couldn't be a caregiver to their loved ones so they decided to put their loved ones in a nursing home and instead feel the need to knock us caregivers down a little to make themselves feel better. I don't pass judgement on those that put their loved one in a nursing home because it's a personal decision and there are multiple variables involved in the decision-making process. It's definitely not a universal yes or no answer to what do we do with an aging loved one. In my head, I envision slapping these judgemental people across their faces after they've told me their unsolicited comments - and I feel so much better! :-)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I know its hard enough to be a caregiver, we certainly don't need to hear judgement or insensitive comments. It felt like more insult to injury when I was carrying the burden of taking care of my dad.
In hindsight, I wish I was more assertive and I could calmly say "I know you mean well, but what you are saying is not helpful and please don't say that again to me."
Take care of yourself the best you can. Sending hugs!
Even though I told this person I've gone through this enough and learned through experience to choose my battles carefully, she still left me with a verbal list of things she thinks ought to be done.
She is right in some sense that it would increase safety, but she didn't seem to comprehend that I've learned to pick my battles carefully, and even then only the ones I can win. I learned that from a very wise boss back in the late '70s.
With limited energy, I want to focus on what I know I can achieve, not what I've tried unsuccessfully and eventually backed off on because of resistance.
And with my father entering probably the last months of his life, I don't want to quarrel with him; I want each of us to enjoy these times and to be grateful that we had each other in our lives.
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