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My mom is 87, married but has always been independent about how she spent "her" money. My parents basic living expenses allow them to live in their own home and have money left over. Mom has always enjoyed knitting and she likes to make Afghans. Fyi - afghans take about 12 skeins of yarn and cost between 100 -250.00 in yarn. These past couple years my mom shops for yarn but never really completes a project. She will see a color in the store and "have" to buy it. She might start on it, but quickly loses interest. The bags of yarn in her room grow so large that she requests to move them to the garage, once they go to the garage they don't come back. She starts over again by purchasing more yarn. In the garage there are seven 50 gallon bins stored with yarn.. It's difficult for me to resolve that mom would buy something she doesn't need..and will never finish. I have a difficult time agreeing to take her to the yarn store when there is so much at home and it's causing a lot of tension. My dad also gets upset because he is very frugal with their money. So I need to figure out how to resolve it. This past month it was about $600.00 of new yarn. Mom says "It's just money" btw...if it's not yarn, her 2nd passion is jewelry. I feel like she is using those moments to make her feel happy, because she can't drive, she was never happy in her marriage, arthritis makes it painful to walk, she doesn't like to do group activities because she is severely hard of hearing and can't follow group conversation. Does your loved one have spending vices? How do you cope?

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Have you taken her to  actually look at her yarn hoard and printed up the amount of money she has tied up in it so she can see it in black and white? Sometimes people need to see things clearly before they take them seriously.
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My mother also spends money she doesn't have on things she doesn't need. Mostly catalog items that she orders on the phone, but also new linens, towels, home furnishings, etc. And tons and tons of food...more than she can ever use, especially since she no longer cooks. I went through her pantry the other day and tossed out about half of what was in there, as it was expired. Same with the fridge, tons of expired food every week. It's very exasperating.

It's the immediate gratification, I think. Spending money is one of the few things that gives an immediate jolt of pleasure, when there's so little else they're still able to do. That being said, this is more your father's issue than yours. He's the one sharing income and savings with her. If he doesn't want to address it, I think you ought to let it go.
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This is not age-related, I'm afraid, it is knitting-related and a well-recognised syndrome with its very own acronym, SABLE: Stash Acquired Beyond Life Expectancy.

If you have an Etsy local, a knitting circle, a craft group or anything like it you can encourage your mother both to exchange yarns and to engage in a greater variety of small projects which are more likely to get finished (she has my sympathy. I hate making up which is why there are currently three projects waiting for me on my dining table).

Apart from anything else, there will be yarns in her stash that others are DESPERATE to get their paws on and she will be doing a good deed.

Ravelry allows members to sell and exchange as well as share information on their collections.

Anyway - there is an entire world of obsessional knitters out there, and like her they are all hoarders, and like her they guard their hoard and their secrets jealously. But once they realise that the others are kindred spirits, it is very touching to see them open up to one another. Best of luck, this really could be absorbing and beneficial for your mother for years to come - low to no cost or even, possibly, actually turn a profit.
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My mother is also a compulsive shopper/hoarder. She buys something every single day from some catalog or the other..then it comes, it's not what she wanted and we have to go through the hassle of returning it. Once she refused to pay the $9.99 restocking/shipping fee for some shoes and got in some fairly serious trouble with this particular catalog company. I was able to straighten it our for her, but it was a major headache. I cancelled the catalog, as per her request. Couple of days later, she was asking me if I could get it "reinstated". I could, but I didn't. I'm very slowly and surreptitiously taking her off more and more catalogs. She's pretty frugal, but she's 88, in a serious decline and she simply has no room for the junk she buys.

It's the only "thrill" she gets: hanging out on the front porch waiting for the UPS guy or the mail carrier.

My mom's junk is just that--junk. Your mom has valuable stuff!! See if she will let you sell it...but I agree with the poster who said you should SHOW it to her. You'd have to anyway, b/f she'd ever agree to sell...but think of all the gorgeous knitwear someone could make with theses expensive yarns!

My mother will sometimes part with stuff if she thinks it is going to "good cause". Try that tactic!
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So I'll admit it CM, I have a stash of yarn too, some of it inherited from my grandmother (who passed away back in '91). You never know, I "might" decide to take up knitting/crochet again someday..... lol.
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If your Mom is spending that much on yarn it must be really high quality yarn. I crochet 54/66 in Afghans at maybe $30 if that. At this point it's going to be hard returning the skeins. You could try and sell on Craig's list or a Facebook yard sale site near you. Donate to organizations who make items for charity. Maybe to nursing facilities. Sometimes there are residents who can make Afghanis for others.

To get her to stop, all I can say is bring up that she has unfinished projects and enough yarn in the garage for many more and she needs no more until she uses what she has. If you drive her don't. Hard to get something out of their mind.
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Ann, sure sounds like your mom is a compulsive shopper and that puts her in same category as many other people with compulsions and addictions. She's using the new purchases -- that she definitely doesn't need -- to give a temporary moment of happiness, a little jolt of dopamine in the brain.

Do you think some counseling on the subject would help?  I just searched "help for compulsive shopping" on YouTube, and there are some helpful looking videos out there. Maybe educating yourself first would help you to help your mom.

Maybe you could help your mom to "shop" her already owned stored yarn, rediscover past treasures she had to have, and that would be enough to give her the good feeling she is seeking instead of having to go out and buy new.
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Thanks so much for your replies...yes the yarn is expensive....and they don't really take returns..besides we'd be doing it every month. The closest yarn shops to us just went out of business..mom was their number one customer. So she has her sights on locations 2hrs away now. One time I refused to drive her to the yarn shop..and when we got home I brought in about 10 or 12 bags of yarn from the garage to show her she had plenty... But we both felt terrible afterwards. She was very withdrawn and I felt like I was crossing the line being so controlling over her activity.

I will pull some videos up on compulsive shopping. That might help me get some perspective.

I had my brothers talk to my dad..because he wants me to police her spending..which I don't think is healthy for my relationship with her... If we can't change her we have to change us so that we're not so frustrated. Very hard for him, but he's trying.

Great idea about posting on eBay!
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I have a mini-stash, compared to other knitters I know, but to DH, it's a lot of yarn. So he was pleased and I felt virtuous when I bagged up two bags of acrylic yarn for charity. My arthritis won't let me use synthetic yarn anymore. I read once about a knitter who discovered that when her upright piano was opened (for tuning), there was a large, empty space just begging to host part of her stash...... I now restrain myself to buying only small amounts for specific projects.
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Actually over the last 7 or 8 years she has completed one for every member of my family....her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren..some have two.. 40 to 50... There are about 9 completed ones in her closet that are waiting to go to someone she would like to give them to. I'll brag on her and say they are well done.

In the last two years she may have completed 3 or 4 baby blankets, but no full size ones.

I tried to learn because I thought we could do it together..I suck at it.. Keeping track of that many stitches..I think she casts on. 210..is overwhelming. Maybe I should start smaller. She is a good teacher, she taught my SIL.. They have inherited lots of yarn from her stash.

The square idea is a good one, I will contact the owners of the knitting store and see if they can point me in the right direction
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