FB is just not an option. Smart phones are not an option. We need an option.
I gave him an Ipad and he used it as a coaster for his coffee cup until he thew it away with the trash. Are there any passive alternatives that do not require my father to use technology?
He still lives at home with assistance and would benefit from some regular family interaction. I need something that works with out me being there to make it work.
- Paul
A good way to keep the family informed in via CaringBridge. But that would be a jounrnal you maintain. I did it for a couple of years to keep family informed of my husband's progress with dementia. I have a cousin now using it about her mother who has an unusual and debilitating disease. This leaves your father out of the direct loop, but it does satisfy family need for information.
I imagine you could set up skype for scheduled interactions, but that would probably require your presence.
I use FB to post pictures and stories about my mom, but again, that leaves my mom out of the loop, except I tell her about comments.
My three sisters and I keep up a continuous email conversation each time any of us visit, which is at least once a week each. This has been extremely valuable in keeping up with Mom's progress between our individual visits.
There are lots of ways that technology can help YOU communicate with family and friends about your father. As for him doing the communication without help, that is harder to imagine.
My mom loves sending out cards. About all she can do is add a signature and decorate with stickers. She has also colored a few cards. If your dad can still write and/or paint, color, use stickers, he may be able to prepare some cards on his own. Then you can add a photo of him, address them, and stick them in the mail. Not a fully independent activity, for sure, but a happy one. Then family can choose to use the old snail mail technology and write him back.
It is my observation that people with dementia, and house-bound old people in general, LOVE getting personal mail. They can re-read the cards or letter many times. It is also my observation that sending personal notes is an extremely difficult task for active younger people. Mostly they hate it and will only do it when prompted.
Can Dad still handle regular phone calls?
I am very interested to see what suggestions others have.
We are good with sharing information between each other but as you say my father is not in the loop and needs to be.
I bet most of our family would not be able to write and mail an old fashioned letter even if they had time to do it. I know it would be hard for me to develop that habit for an aunt or distant uncle.
- Paul
Of course, the younger generation might need to buy envelopes and postage stamps... I am sure someone at Staples could explain what those things are ;)
My ex-Mom-in-laws loves to get cards from me and in return she will mail me whatever she can to write on. Her handwriting was getting a bit shaky so I printed up a bunch of large address stickers with my home address for her to use. Maybe print up address stickers for everyone to use.
- Paul
I always find it sad that the FB crowd is so naïve or uncaring about the privacy compromises, the fact that some people just don't want to communicate that way, and the fact that the FB users expect other to jump on the social media bandwagon.
I also don't understand why with the proliferation of phones family members don't just call.
Maybe the 2 functions can be separated: 1. Your father can call when you're there - maybe once a week, every two weeks, etc., 2. The family members can work out a schedule to call him. That's fairly simple.
Another option is to send e-mail updates to the family, and have them each send e-mail updates to you for printing out and reading (and rereading) by your father.
Paul
I remember how I use to put pen to paper and hand write letters to my Grandparents, and all the Aunts/Uncles. Amazing how much time I had back then to do those things but there weren't all the distractions and time wasters we have today. I know I spend way too much time watching TV having 500 channels instead of just 4 :P
Graphics are so high end now that they're much different, but still brighten up a letter.
He has figured out how to give a TV channel an email address. His business clients can send pictures / videos / text messages directly to any existing TV. He has about 60 retail clients that use this for simple in store digital presentations.
One of his clients asked if they could try it for their father who has dementia. They set it up and it worked. All the father has to do is watch TV and all the family has to do is send emails and text. She posted about it on FB and it seems to be exactly what I am looking for.
She has not answered any of my FB messages but she seems very pleased with how it is working. The owner of the business is getting me in contact with her.
Right now he does not want me to put up a link or anything - he wants time to think this through. Give me you thoughts.
PaulofM0
Everytime I visit him, which is usually 2 or 3 times a week, he always has his TV on the local 24-hour news channel or one of the other local channels. When I try to get him interested in the History channel or Discovery, he never goes back to those stations. And here he has cable TV for the first time ever, old habits are hard to break. At his age, forgetaboutit.
She described her loved one as having moderate dementia.
Because it is easy to add items and remove items, as the decline progresses what plays on the TV can be simplified. She says at some point it will be reduced to just a scrolling and silent slideshow of old family pictures.
Once on the family content channel it never seems to be changed back to regular TV. The presentation includes a scrolling weather feed and that is all he watches the news for. Regular TV is vulgar to him and is upsetting - she is very happy he is not watching it much anymore.
It is passive and one way but if he see's or reads something that he wants to comment on he just makes a call. They got him a phone with the persons pictures on the speed dial buttons. So far this has not been an issue as far as the number of calls he makes. She has been surprised by how appropriate the few calls he makes are.
It is as easy as claimed - she takes a picture on her phone and hits share. Within a minute or two it is on his TV. Texting works from her Sprint phone but not from her sisters Verison phone. Her sister sends emails from her phone instead and her text scrolls on his TV just fine.
He responds to the text reminders almost every time and is eating more and walking the halls more.
When she visits the content added by her scattered family has generated wonderful memories and sparked new conversations with him. He has shared stories that she did not know about.
She was charged the same amount as his commercial pricing per his website - $360 per year or $30 dollars per month and the family provided the TV. No install fee or hardware fee.
Set up was simple - he came out and plugged a small box into an open HDMI port and entered the facilities wifi password. Took less than 10 minutes.
She said the owner of the company was very thoughtful towards her Dad when he set it up for them.
So far the only thing that had to be added was an digital outlet timer to power off the little box at midnight each night. It has run flawlessly for over 3 months now.
They have about 400 pictures and have it set to rotate through the last 10 text messages. Deleting pictures is OK but has to be done from a computer and not a cell phone.
That is pretty much it. I have a call out to see what it will take to get us set up.
PaulofM0
We have started using this and it works as described. Some of it is a bit clunky but not difficult. I can send pictures, video clips, and text messages directly to his TV and he readily watches it and responds.
Several family members are posting everyday and like it as well.
The owner of the company does not want to share any information until he works out some of the bugs. He also wants to be sure he can deliver the service to more than just a few people. They are excited and helpful and just want to do it right. I have invited them to post here when ready. He said it would be a few more weeks.
Thanks to everyone who helped.
PaulofM0
PaulofM0