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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I've been at this by myself for over 2 years and I'm finding that I get very angry very quickly over nothing. I hit the stop button on my life to take care of my father and I haven't been able to hit the go button yet.
A therapist will certainly be helpful in pointing you in the right direction and understanding your feelings. Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task. Start with recommendations from your own Dr and friends. Look them up if you can and see if you feel they may be someone who you can relate too. Make an appointment for a getting to know you first visit. Make it clear that this is what the visit is about. At the end if you feel comfortable tell the therapist and make another appointment. Otherwise move on to someone else on your list and do the same thing till you find someone who gives your their whole attention and empathizes with your situation. By that I mean no phone calls no slyly looking at their cell phone. In fact I prefer to see it put in a drawer. This is about you. Make sure you are comfortable in their consulting room, some have some weird ideas about decorating. You have free will so if you feel therapy is not for you and you would rather talk to a trusted friend then do just that.. I was in the hospital once and one night in tears not really about anything and the next morning the psychiatrist came in to see me. She was such a lovely person, just sat on the bed and chatted, no notebook or laptop just a very pleasant visit. At other times I have seen others i would never go back to.
Of course you get angry and it is not about nothing. You are trapped in a situation and see no way out. There is always something you can do to change things but oft times caregivers feel it is not fair to the loved one they are caring for, but do they ever think it is fair to you. Of course not it is your duty as they looked after you. NO it's not they choose to have children and should have realized the responsibility that went with that decision. So you are not required to pay them back in kind. You certainly should make sure to the best of your ability that they are safe and properly cared for but not necessarily by you. If they clearly refuse needed care it is again the familiy's responsibility to take steps that they get that care even if you have to involve authorities.
Good advice so far. I will add that having a therapist who is over 50 and has other clients dealing with family and elder care issues is a very important trait to look for. As a woman, I also preferred to work with a female therapist. Agism and sexism, some might acuse. Meh! Get over it.
In an earlier answer, the different kinds of Doctors have been touched upon with regard to insurance, but I also want to add that the type you seek really depends on the kind of treatment you are seeking. You may need to see more than one.
A psychiatrist (MD or NP) usually offers mainly medication management.
A psychologist can offer therapies other than medication, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, coping skills etc. primarily focusing on you and your personal needs.
A counselor will probably be more likely to offer practical advice regarding your relationship and do more 2-way talk therapy.
A social worker will probably be more geared toward focusing on the needs of the person you are caring for and work with you to discover how you can best meet those needs while taking care of yourself as well. Social workers are better than others for directing you toward resources that might be available to help your situation.
this is just my experience and of course there is some overlap.
that was such great information...writing down the actions of each service provider...Comprehensive yet concise...excellent Thankyou Please don't take any anxiety meds...They Are addictive. And I have had patients who stopped these medications abruptly & suffered seizures. And will weaken your CNS (nervous system) with regular use.
I work in medicine & it was through my clinical experience & realization of the harm that meds do cause that i now use only holistic treatments 1000mg of Magnesium Citrate after dinner each night will help calm the anxiety And a tea of Chamomile and St Johns Wort 1:1 (1oz to 1Pint of distilled water...do Not boil)..Pour the boiled water over the herbs..let sit 10mins to overnight...covered. Drink 1 cup am & pm warm with a spoon of raw honey More if you like. This will help strengthen and calm the nerves Herbs (foods) have no side effects...and many side benefits! Also eat plenty of protein...fish & chicken are preferred...with each meal In times of physical, emotional/mental demand (stress) the body needs more protein Good luck on your journey
I feel the same way. Mostly, I hung on & endured until recently, when I saw a bad change in my personality. I hate asking for help, (but that's how I got to this point). Today I googled "therapist near me", & phoned a few to hear their own description of their methods. (I think hearing their voice is also a good way to get a vibe about them). Anyway, it's free to call. I have my first appt Friday. It's probably the most money I'm ever going to spend on myself, but I have to do it now, before I have even more regrets. No more cappuccino though, lol. (P.S. Don't forget to pray.) Good luck...✌☺🙋
Can you get a paid private caregiver to come in for a few hours? Is your Father a Veteran? If so, please contact VA for help. They can file the application for you...you just need his Dr. to sign form...make sure you fill out form, though & he don’t forget to sign & put his license number! You wouldn’t believe what trouble I had when my mother’s dr failed to do this! I think HE had dementia too!!! Well, back to YOU...you need help & get out of house even for a few hours or go see movie! Get someone you can trust & agency did background check on so it’s one less thing to do...this getting out of house for a few hours can clear your head! I share caregiving with a paid caregiver & I first started to go to work a couple days a week...or go to a movie on $5 Tuesday...I cannot find a therapist or support group since they usually meet in evening..I probably should look in insurance book who is in my borough & takes my insurance...& I would recommend it to you. Hugs 🤗
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task. Start with recommendations from your own Dr and friends. Look them up if you can and see if you feel they may be someone who you can relate too.
Make an appointment for a getting to know you first visit. Make it clear that this is what the visit is about. At the end if you feel comfortable tell the therapist and make another appointment. Otherwise move on to someone else on your list and do the same thing till you find someone who gives your their whole attention and empathizes with your situation. By that I mean no phone calls no slyly looking at their cell phone. In fact I prefer to see it put in a drawer. This is about you. Make sure you are comfortable in their consulting room, some have some weird ideas about decorating.
You have free will so if you feel therapy is not for you and you would rather talk to a trusted friend then do just that..
I was in the hospital once and one night in tears not really about anything and the next morning the psychiatrist came in to see me. She was such a lovely person, just sat on the bed and chatted, no notebook or laptop just a very pleasant visit. At other times I have seen others i would never go back to.
Of course you get angry and it is not about nothing. You are trapped in a situation and see no way out. There is always something you can do to change things but oft times caregivers feel it is not fair to the loved one they are caring for, but do they ever think it is fair to you. Of course not it is your duty as they looked after you. NO it's not they choose to have children and should have realized the responsibility that went with that decision.
So you are not required to pay them back in kind. You certainly should make sure to the best of your ability that they are safe and properly cared for but not necessarily by you. If they clearly refuse needed care it is again the familiy's responsibility to take steps that they get that care even if you have to involve authorities.
A psychiatrist (MD or NP) usually offers mainly medication management.
A psychologist can offer therapies other than medication, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, anger management, coping skills etc. primarily focusing on you and your personal needs.
A counselor will probably be more likely to offer practical advice regarding your relationship and do more 2-way talk therapy.
A social worker will probably be more geared toward focusing on the needs of the person you are caring for and work with you to discover how you can best meet those needs while taking care of yourself as well. Social workers are better than others for directing you toward resources that might be available to help your situation.
this is just my experience and of course there is some overlap.
Please don't take any anxiety meds...They Are addictive. And I have had patients who stopped these medications abruptly & suffered seizures.
And will weaken your CNS (nervous system) with regular use.
I work in medicine & it was through my clinical experience & realization of the harm that meds do cause that i now use only holistic treatments
1000mg of Magnesium Citrate after dinner each night will help calm the anxiety
And a tea of Chamomile and St Johns Wort 1:1 (1oz to 1Pint of distilled water...do Not boil)..Pour the boiled water over the herbs..let sit 10mins to overnight...covered. Drink 1 cup am & pm warm with a spoon of raw honey More if you like. This will help strengthen and calm the nerves
Herbs (foods) have no side effects...and many side benefits!
Also eat plenty of protein...fish & chicken are preferred...with each meal
In times of physical, emotional/mental demand (stress) the body needs more protein
Good luck on your journey