The assisted living has a Covid outbreak. We received a message stating there are no cooks on staff tomorrow and families need to bring in meals and help with family.
My husband believes I should make large portions for people without families nearby.
What happens to the people with no families if I decide not to cook for them?
What they should be doing is contracting with such a provider. Even San Quentin State Prison did that in 2020.
This facility your MIL is in really does sound like a total nightmare in every way. Why do they have NO plans in place to deal with a virus that's been with us for over 2.5 YEARS now?
I suggest you call over there right away and recommend they order take out food from local restaurants to feed their residents 3 meals a day. To have the families cooking food in their kitchens is unacceptable. They have no idea how clean your kitchens are, or what kind of quality control you have over the food in your fridges and pantries. This is not to suggest you are dirty or any such thing......just to say it's inappropriate and against health code standards for them to be asking families to COOK for residents!
But, the hospital certainly didn’t require that, nor would they allow families to cook for strangers.
Geez you are paying these people to care for MIL and you are doing most of the care for free.
I hope to God you are making progress getting her the **** out of that place. And once you do i would report them to licensing or some kind of regulatory agency.
No, do not take food to others. Provide for your Mom. DH is a good guy but good deeds don't go unpunished. They will not starve, the AL has to provide meals.
Contact the state licensing board immediately, as well as the county health department.
My husband is upset and sent the administrator a bill for $75 for her missed shower today to offset the one she sent us and added food and his time to it. Sibling 1 and him think the best course of action is to be jerks so she gets kicked out and the community Medicaid waiver will need to place her properly.
Her bill states she is Level 6 MC. Does anyone know what that means?
What is memory care? Is that assisted living?
She has a friend there who likes to touch people inappropriately. She scares me.
Most people there are on hospice and die rather quickly. MIL is a full code according to the facility, my husband does not want to honor it as POA.
My guess is that "MC 6" means that your MIL is in memory care already.
My husband agreed with your husband make xtra. If the families pitched in and all brought xtra, there maybe enough to feed everyone. They must have stuff to make at least sandwiches. My Mom was in a small AL and the aides were required to help at meals. They made up the tables, distributed drinks and helped with serving. No reason the staff can't pitch in. And, for every family that brought food, they should see a credit on the bill.
I may check out this Administers credentials with the State. Even though private owned the State should be overseeing the facility. I would start with the State Ombudsman.
This post has brought up something interesting, checking the credentials of the Adminstrator/director and the RNs and LPNs.
At Moms AL the Nurse in charge had an LPN by State law it has to be an RN. The AL had lost their RN and the LPN had experience in a NH and she was hired to fill in until an RN could be found. My daughter worked her way up from an LPN to RN and knows more than some that only took RN training. But LPNs do have limits, my state they were at one time not allowed to give shots, not sure if that has changed. A bordering State does allow it so my daughter worked there.
"MIL is a full code according to the facility, my husband does not want to honor it as POA."
Do you mean he doesn't want to CHANGE it as poa?
Her husband and his siblings should be looking to get mom out of this s**t hole and into an appropriate facility instead of yammering on about the food. That is the least of this facilities problems.
It is like this place is holding MIL hostage. Note they do not even administer moms insulin there. The OP has to go up there 4 times a day to give MIL insulin.
I really dont understand this OP or her husband and why they are being cowed by this facility. One call to licensing or some sort of regulatory board would get this place investigated.
If I knew the name of the place I would do it myself. Nothing worse than a place like this hiding under this faith based nonsense to neglect and abuse seniors they are supposed to be caring for.
She is not on a LTC waiver, she is on a community waiver, the one that pays for the in home care. There is a care team, a nurse and a social worker that works for the Area on Aging. Those two said she does not need a nursing home, we did not. They call MIL and administrator every month and say she is properly placed. They said the waiver they administer does not cover a nursing home.
I know people have tried to explain it but it is over my head and I am confused.
Here are 2 numbers to call in New York State about neglect.
1-888-201-4563 and
1-866-893-6772 (this one is for assisted living neglect).
Bed sores are neglect and not acceptable. You may need to get a lawyer involved. Not the current lawyer because they sound like a tool. But one that specializes in nursing home and assisted living neglect. That may be the only way to get her out with a law suit being threatened. She has dementia and can no longer make these decisions.
My initial response, coming from a place of 'giving' was to go ahead and make large batches of food and deliver it to the facility--then my realistic side kicked in and I saw myself trying to organize and cook for X many residents, 3 times a day, making the meals healthy, diabetic friendly and not horrifically costly.
Next to impossible! I could do it ONCE or TWICE, but not 3xs a day for goodness knows how long?? 2 weeks, at least??
I'd take care of MY LO and have a good chat with the director of this place. FOOD comes ahead of SHELTER, IMHO. And I agree, they've had 2.5 years and counting with the pandemic and it's not going away, so they need to figure something out.
There are certainly plenty of food service companies who can do banquet style meals if the people there have no family, Even if they do!
So, every time they have a COVID breakout, there's no food service? That's extremely poor planning.
DH is POA and HE'S the one who needs to understand his responsibilities and to sort out this mess.
I agree that a lawyer is needed. As far as I recall, the ombudsman has been called twice and hasn't responded.
I have not slept for long periods of time since July 2020. MIL fell and I heard my shoulder pop lifting her. I am in alot of pain all the time, I cannot lift my arm straight in the air. The doctors tested me for heart issues and apnea. I have neither. I dont sleep because of pain in my shoulder and upper arm. It seems no one listens to anything anymore.
THIS! And you've been in pain for 2 years now because you lifted MIL off the floor?
What is WRONG with your H? Why do you put up with all of this?
at my moms memory care, on my tour, the director was in the kitchen.. short staffed…often saw him working the floor..
DH needs to apply for Long Term Care Medicaid.
Merely suggesting that applying for LTC Medicaid is what DH needs to be getting done.
Some things are not within your control to change, but some ARE. The Serenity Prayer comes to mind in your case:
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The Courage to change the things I can;
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
I wish you peace with your addiction quoting the Serenity prayer. It is not in the Bible and not real.
I wish you peace to deal with your demons
I do not understand your defensiveness. The poster in question has been nothing but nasty and rude, not helpful.
I have enough on my plate that I do not need someone making me feel worse than what I already do.
I know of no addict, frankly, that has turned around their behavior just with the Serenity Prayer. Frankly they use it more to enable themselves.
Addict is trying to get residency at my house and it is a fight.