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My mom fell 3 TIMES today and each time my brother has had to lift her up by her arms because that is the only way to get her off the ground



I'm not strong enough to lift her up by myself and I am afraid my brother is going to strain himself from repeatedly doing this action!



Is there an easier method of doing this without hurting her?



Thanks in advance!

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Did you call a Nurse, Doctor or Emergency Services to check Mom out? To ask why she fell & check for any injuries?
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Daphne131 Feb 2023
People w osteoporosis or balance issues fall a lot. OT is worthless if the bones are so brittle you fall under then with no trio no slip involved. 

Finding out why they fall doesn’t stop the falling. They need to get up to be part of life, use restroom, dress, eat. 

being placed in a facility also doesn’t stop falls. My mother in law feel repeatedly in a luxury assisted car facility w assistant immediately best to her. 

They also didn’t call 911 each time until doing an assessment, bc it costs lots of money for paradmedics to show up and help that Senior may not have extra to spend. And transpiration is not a medical expense so Medicare won’t pay for it.
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The best thing to do when mom falls is to call 911.

Have the EMTs get her up and assess why she is falling and if she needs to be checked medically.

Why is she falling so frequently?

Why can't she get herself up?

Has she had an assessment recently for Physical Therapy?

Have you tried bringing a sturdy chair to where she is and having her use it to get herself up?
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Daphne131 Feb 2023
People w osteoporosis or balance issues fall a lot. OT is worthless if the bones are so brittle you fall under then with no trio no slip involved.

Finding out why they fall doesn’t stop the falling. They need to get up to be part of life, use restroom, dress, eat.

being placed in a facility also doesn’t stop falls. My mother in law feel repeatedly in a luxury assisted car facility w assistant immediately best to her.

They also didn’t call 911 each time until doing an assessment, bc it costs lots of money for paradmedics to show up and help that Senior may not have extra to spend. And transpiration is not a medical expense so Medicare won’t pay for it.
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As Barb mentioned, a sturdy chair will work. My mom fell quite a bit by not locking the brakes on her rollator walker. It rolled out from under her. I hated that thing. She didn't want 911 called but used a chair to get up. Why is your mom falling so much?
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Call 911. Do not risk hurting yourself.

I will say this though. My mom fell quite a bit due to having Parkinson’s disease.

She couldn’t get up if someone tried pulling her up. If she was in a position to get on her knees and she had something to push herself up on a chair. then sometimes she would try that.

I feel for you. Falls were always terrifying for them and for us.

The other thing that I would recommend is to ask your mom’s doctor about ordering home health. They will address balancing exercises with physical therapy. Occupational therapy is very important too. They work hand in hand.

My mom did rehab after a stay in the hospital also. She was in her 90’s and was able to handle it. She worked very hard and did improve. These exercises build strength and balance.

I will tell you something that the therapist also recommended to us. Place a towel under her hands. For some reason it helps them feel that they won’t slip.

Wishing you and your family well.
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There comes a time when helping them up becomes dangerous - it doesn't matter how big they are or if you *can* do it. The question is if you *should* do it. As others have mentioned you are going to want to find out why she is continuing to fall. But also, sometimes in trying to help, we can hurt them. When my dad's health was failing, there were times that he would fall and it made sense to help him up. And then there was one time when he fell and my brother said "Dad, this time, I can't do it. I think we need to call 911. I think if I help you up I'm going to injure myself and you in the process." It was something about the way he fell, the position he was in, and the fact that this particular time, my father wasn't able to help as he had been before.

I have found in my FIL's case - and of course this is just anecdotal, that the more they fall, the weaker it makes them, and the less energy they can contribute to trying to get themselves up. My FIL is a large man, especially for someone who is nearly 90 years old. When he first started falling several years ago, if he was near a bed or chair, he could manage to get himself up on his knees and push himself up (helping him up was never an option, he weighs 300 pounds). After a while, he wasn't able to maneuver himself into a position to get on his knees but he could usually roll into a more comfortable position to wait on the fire department/EMS to get there for a lift assist. The last few times - he has had to stay exactly as he has fallen - this last time - that meant he had to lay in the bathroom floor on his back until they could get there. SIL was able to pass a pillow through and wedge it under his head through a crack in the door because he fell in such a way that he blocked the bathroom door. EMS had to remove the bathroom door.

Why do I say all of that? At some point, you are right -regardless of how little your mom is, your brother is likely to injure himself or her getting her up. EMS is trained in the proper way to help someone up, especially the elderly. We mean well, but we don't always know the right way to help someone or they could be injured and not saying anything and we can make it worse.

We finally had to make it a requirement - Fall = 911.
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Beatty Feb 2023
Been down a similar path.
Assisting up with 2 of us used to work. Then it became safer for all involved not to. Every fall has been an EMS call for a while now.
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It's not about hurting her, what about you and your brother?

Falling 3 times in a day is a red flag, time for her to be placed and be taken care of by trained professionals.

In the meantime, call 911.
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Please call 911. The EMT's will come out at no charge to pick her up and put her where she needs to be.
Now if she's hurt and taken to the ER, there will be of course a charge.
There was a 2 month period when my late husband before he became bedridden fell 9 times, and each time I called 911 and they came and helped him up. Thankfully he was never hurt, and the EMT's were always very kind to me and him.
It's not worth anyone getting hurt over.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2023
My mom was in love with the handsome firemen who picked her up! LOL 😆

They were so sweet to her and would tease her by saying that they had to stop meeting like this.

The firemen told me that they had a lot of ‘old ladies’ who had crushes on them! Their sense of humor made my mom smile.

You’re right. They are extremely kind. I am glad that they were kind to you and your husband. Your husband was so very blessed to have such a caring wife.
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https://dailycaring.com/video-how-to-safely-get-up-after-a-fall/

The senior needs to be able to do most of the effort. If not, one or both of you will eventually hurt your backs. Then where does that leave your Mom? Yes, she can fall in a facility but at least your backs won't be wrecked.

Is she falling because she isn't using a walker, or not using one properly with brakes?

My 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia a limited mobility fell in her home and broke her hip on a carpeted floor. We tried so hard to keep her from getting up and out of a chair or her bed but her dementia prevented her from remembering she couldn't walk. She was in rehab and about to be transferred to a permanent facility but she passed away right before.

Getting your Mom up isn't the problem: it isn't going to end well if she can't be prevented from falling. I wish you success in finding a solution for this situation.
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Falling three times in one day is concerning, and you'll probably want to get her checked out for any changes in mentation or movement. That aside, please call 911, someone is going to get hurt if you keep trying to lift her on your own. Usually EMTs come in pairs and they can certainly help her up AND give her a quck once-over to assess for possible bone breaks.
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I do not recommend you picking up Mom, but brother should have no problem.

My daughter is an RN and I had to call her to pick up Mom. She faced my Mom and told her to put her arms around her neck, my daughter then spread her legs apart about as wide as her shoulders, put her arms around Moms waist and using her legs, not her back, pulled Mom up.

Why is Mom falling? Is she not using her walker? There comes a time when a cane no longer does the job. Maybe some Physical Therapy will help strengthen her. If a Dr orders it Medicare will pay.

I know we probably have all suggested this before, but it maybe time to place Mom. If she has money, a nice Memory care. If not, get her on Medicaid in a nice Long-term care. She will worsen not get better.
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There comes a point where family care at home becomes dangerous both for the ill person and the care givers. Handling patients requires both training and strength.
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JoAnn29 Feb 2023
My daughter has both unlike her Mom who has no upperbody strength.
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My mom was tiny and she would still have been hard for me to pick her up. They are dead weight!

I am also small. I don’t have that kind of strength. It’s not safe for the person who falls or for us to try it and pick them up.

911 sent four very fit firemen out on calls. It’s a piece of cake for them.
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I have a hoyer lift and it has been wonderful. But, as Mom deteriorated she started to slip more. However, I found it was cheaper to buy one than to rent one.
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Wow - awesome responses with great advice and wisdom! I like the comment that just because you can, maybe you shouldn't!

I always assess the damage first prior to attempting a lift. One time she had a brain bleed and I could have risked further injury. Timely help is of the essence!

My wife weighs 103 Lbs soaking wet and I top out at 245. My problem is she can't use her legs nor hold onto me. (Having a bad back and neck don't help me, but odds are in my favor!) I use a gate belt and create leverage with my elbows on my knees to boost her up enough to scoot a stool under her with a foot for the first phase. I then slide the stool to a location where her back is against her chair/walker. I finish the lift with my legs ad scoot her back into a seated position. She won't allow me to use a safety belt to keep her in, so I adjust the chair back so her center of gravity reduces the chance of falling forward.

Hope this helps! God bless you for what you do and remember, help is out there!
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aermay Feb 2023
This is very helpful advice. You obviously provide great care to you wife. God bless you both.
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YOU do not lift her.
YOU call 911 and ask for a LIFT ASSIST.
they will send paramedics that have been trained to properly, safely help someone up off the floor.
In most cases if there is no transport to the hospital there is no charge for the call.
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As others mention, call 911. However, if you are calling too often, they will stop coming out. My mother was falling 4-5 times a week and we called 911 every time to get a lift assist. There were also times when they were on other calls, and it took up to an hour to arrive.

Eventually they said they wouldn't respond, and we need to find a solution. They felt she was unsafe at home due to excessive falls.
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Next fall, call 911 and have her transported to the hospital for evaluation. From there, if her condition warrants it, she can be transported to rehab or to an appropriate facility. I already had this plan in mind if my mom were to fall but didn't happen and I had to put her in AL without help of the system. It worked out fine but was very stressful for me to deal with her anger, etc. She's well adjusted to it now.
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I think the OP's Mother has history of stroke?

Mom, Miku, Brother in the household - maybe others?
From previous replies I am not sure who be the one to call 911 if this was needed.
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Your city or county may have a 'lift-assist" program through the 911/emergency response. If you call the non-emergency police line and ask which number to call they should provide lift-assist as often as needed.
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At least in my neighborhood, call 911, say it's not an emergency but you need help and they will send EMTs to pick up your patient and put her wherever you want so she is safe and you have not hurt YOURSELF. My experience with Tualatin Valley Fire and Rescue was excellent. I know in some communities there is a limit to how many times they can come to bail you out; but my experience was they come if you need them. It brings tears to my eyes to recollect how kind and considerate our guys/women are. And gentle. And concerned with MY safety as well as my husband's. I say God Bless them and the taxpayers who fund them!
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I agree that evaluation is needed with having 3 falls in 1 day.

Ongoing basis, you may want to look into one of those medical alert systems. We just got an upgraded one for my mom which can not only detect a fall ($10/monthly add-on fee but worth it) but can communicate with her directly through the pendant. They then contact EMT to come out if needed. You may also wish to get a lockbox through the medical alert company in case no one is available to open the door to EMT.

Good luck!
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Yes there are easier ways and safer ways for everyone. The ideal thing to do would be to have her doctor order a nursing or PT evaluation at the house to see if there are changes that can be made to help prevent these falls, teach you how to best get her up and give you some basic advice on when to call 911 and when or if you can try to get her up on your own. There are 2 person assists and one person assists so you both should be there when the professional comes. For most patients depending on ailments of course, lifting under the patient's arm pits or upper arms and the lifters legs for power and upper body for bracing works best because it’s the better source of power and sturdiness.
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Speak with your mom's doctor about the falls. Find out if there is a medical reason and ask about getting a prescription for occupational therapy to strengthen her muscles and balance. Also get an evaluation if a walker or cane would help, and perhaps a wheel chair for long distances. Medicare will pay for them if you get a prescription. There are also types of lifts and lifting equipment that can be prescribed. If your mom has dementia, she may not be able to learn how to use a walker or cane. My mother (she had dementia and was living in a memory care facility) was falling often (fortunately she fell softly and didn't hurt herself). She weighed 90 lbs and I couldn't lift her by myself because she didn't assist. In her facility, sometimes it took 2 people to transfer her from bed to wheel chair. In her memory care facility, staff was required to call EMS every time there was a fall to evaluate whether she needed to go to the hospital. Falls can be dangerous, if bones get broken or with head concussions. Eventually as her dementia got worse, we put my mom on hospice care with a 'No Hospitalization' directive. It was too disruptive for her to be going to the hospital constantly. My husband's sister had a medical alert device, and she'd press the button when she fell. They would come to her house and help get her up, and ask her if she wanted to go to the hospital for an evaluation. Have a plan for a time when your mom's care may be too much for you and your brother to handle on your own. Your (and your Mom's) basic options are getting in home caregivers to help or placing her in an assisted living/memory care/nursing home facility.
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Get some training. Back when I was about 13 years old I learn to become a certified lifeguard. One of the things they taught us was how to pick up people. I’m 63 now and still use these techniques to pick up my wife and heavy things.
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Look up Teepa Snow on YouTube. She has several video's on how to help life a love one from the floor, chair, etc. They helped me with my mother-in-law and when the residents I work with.
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My Dad would fall frequently, and we live in Florida. The Fire Dept. would come out and help us willingly. No sirens were involved.
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Call your local fire department; firefighters are guardian angels and they never complain.

Also get her an appointment with a geriatric physical therapist to evaluate the situation.
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I am 87 yr. old geezer who had a mate of same age weighing in at 240 pounds!!

She was very prone to falls and I discovered a way to lift her off the floor to standing position...

Simply have the fallen person be able to sit on the floor in upright position and position yourself squatting behind the person and hook your arms under the person's armpits and use your thigh muscles to dead-lift the person to standing position. Those thigh muscles are the strongest muscles in your body and they can be quite useful.

It worked well for me, a 170-pounder.

If you don't trust your thigh muscles to do the job, you can try doing 2 sets squats of 10 (work your way up from a lower number if you are really sedentary) daily to build and strengthen your thigh muscles.

We were living in Panama at that time and no firefighters were available nearby. We were pretty much isolated, where we were.
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Order a "transfer sling" from Amazon. There are several types to choose from. I once fell in a motel room and they got me up by putting a rolled or folded sheet behind me and under my arms, then just pulled me up. After that I ordered a transfer sling to keep handy in case I fall again. Good luck.
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Look at bath chair lifts online. The ones that use rechargeable batteries.

You could ask the company if it would work correctly on a surface other than tub.

You might also need to put gait belt around her waist. When she walks...with walker... It's much easier to keep her from going down if you're hanging on to the belt. Or at least can use it to ease her to the ground and avoid breaking a bone.

Does she needs to use a walker? Is she trying to do something her body just can't do anymore? Lifting from arms is eventually going to hurt one or both of them.
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