Hi
My mother suffered her 3rd stroke. Now she is in bed can not move any part of her body except opening her eyes. She can breath by herself but she can not eat that is why we inserted nasogastric tube to feed her. She has been like this for more than 40 days, I feel she can hear us because one day she opened her eyes wide when I spoke a bit loud to her (actually she was like I scared her when I spoke loud). When she opens her eyes, she is not moving them left or right to follow the voice, just open them.
What is the medical term of this condition? and what do we expect next? will she be able to start eating again? talking again? moving again? she is 84 years old.
Thanks a lot.
Living Wills. Our ticket to ride.
I wish you the best and know that many of us have gone through what you are right now. I know that might not help, but the hospice staff will have experienced this many, many times.
The big question of course is, does your mom want to live like this, if there will be no improvement in her physical condition. I'm sorry that you're going through this.
If possible, make sure that your mother is not left alone so that if she seems to need anything it can be offered to her straight away. Other than that, I am sorry to say that there is probably very little you can do besides what you are already doing - keep her comfortable and wait.
There is one other, very difficult point. You may as a family like to discuss with her doctors whether the nasogastric tube might need to be withdrawn. I believe it might be possible to withdraw it and review your mother's swallowing reflex to see if there has been any improvement; you would then need to consider carefully what to do next. This is not only a matter of not burdening your mother with excessively invasive, albeit palliative, treatment. In a home environment, the risk of infection must be quite high and eventually the tube will not be able to be left in situ - but if you wait until there is an infection, that could be very uncomfortable indeed. Your doctors are clearly doing their best in difficult circumstances, so in your position I would ask them what developments they expect in your mother's condition and take their advice. My best wishes to you.
I have no idea if these drugs would be obtainable, but my mother was provided with three types for use in case of need (I am very happy to say that she never did need them): an anxiolytic, in case she became frightened or distressed; a mucolytic, in case her throat became obstructed; and injectable morphine in case of severe pain. All of these required a qualified nurse to administer them, so you would also need either to find someone who would be amenable to coming to your home promptly, as soon as he or she was needed; or perhaps to ask your nearest hospital if they would be able to train a family member in their use - given the difficulties, they might be prepared to consider that.
How are you managing your mother's overall wellbeing? Are you able to keep her comfortable and clean? This site also has very good practical sections on managing problems such as pressure sores if you would like advice on that kind of thing.
Are you cahnging her position regularily to avoid pressure sores. i think you said previously you are . I can't go back on check that post because the current one tends to be erased if I do that. It is quite likely she will have another major stroke and pass away from that. If her lungs seem to fill with fluid which often happen right before death, just place her on her side with towels under her face. There are medications that will dry up these secretions but I doubt available to you. The one I have in mind is LEVSIN. it is usually prescribed for bladder spasms but the side effect is to dry up the lungs (In case other posters question this recommendation). Keep up with the Tylenol every six hours. i can not think of anything else I can tell you to do. You are being forced to live under such horrible conditions. We see the news but the horror of daily life is unimaginable. you are taking the very best care you can of your mother. I do not know what people here would do if faced with the same challenges so you have my utmost respect.
Is she digesting the nourishment you are giving? Does she urinate and pass feces? Each time before you give her food can you attach the syringe and withdraw to see if there is still fluid in her stomach. If she is in any pain there is a liquid form of morphine that is given with a very small syringe without a needle in the mouth. You just slip it between her lips and very slowly just push it between her gum and cheek. It will be absorbed right there. Other medications can be given rectally. You are really on your own managing the very best you can. Do you think she may be trying to tell you something by not opening her mouth for you? Do you think she would rather not be fed anymore? Dehydration is not painful or distressing. Many people think endorphins are released and promote a sense of calmness in the dying. You and your family have to make the difficult decision about what to do from here on in but consider what your mother would want and what the kindest thing is for your family to do. Whatever you do it will be heartbreaking. Our good thoughts go with you, we will help from afar even if is only over the internet.
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