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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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i take care of my wife for 9 months now after her stroke she is very hard to get along with i went to bed last night after a very bad day and hoped that i would not wake up
Your feelings are REAL. The stress you are under are real. It’s ok to need help. It’s healthy to reach out. There is help. Caregiving for a loved one is very difficult and it is filled with emotional and physical demands. Is there anyone you can reach out to. Can you take breaks and everyday do something for YOU. This is necessary and not selfish. You can not give from a depleted well. please get help. Reach out and ask. Are there support groups in your area? Do you belong to a church? Pastor? Friends? Write out all the places and people you can reach out to. You reached out here and got some good feedback. Keep reaching !!
Wilforde, I am so sorry that you have reached the burnt-out stage of caregiving for your wife. It’s now time to take care of YOU. When anyone reaches the stage of going to sleep and hoping not to wake up is a sure sign of deep depression. Please call your PCP immediately and get an evaluation and help with your situation. Please explain your symptoms to your PCP as this is an urgent matter.
It’s time for you to place your wife in a nursing home as her caregiving has become too much for you to handle. Your wife is still so young and chances are she will live a long, long time with her stroke. Do not let this ruin YOUR life.
I am urging you to call your PCP immediately and get help. You cannot take care of your wife anymore on your own.
Please come back and update us on how you are doing.
Caregiving is a long, difficult road, and we're happy you've found the support of others here on this site. However, there are limits to what untrained members of the forum can provide for you.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out to experts at the 24/7 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You've already received a few excellent answers, and I'm sure other caregivers will be along shortly to provide more words of encouragement and advice. Please take care of yourself!
Please get help for yourself and for your wife. Call your local Senior Services and Area Agency on Aging to see what kind of help may be available for your wife if you're wanting to keep her at home. And if this is really just too much for you now(which it sounds like it is)then have these places help you find the best facility for your wife where you can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her 24/7 caregiver.
And to answer your question...absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are a human with limits as we all are. But you must take care of yourself first if you want to be any good for your wife. God bless you.
Wilforde, what you're experiencing isn't unusual for the start of caregiving. Your wife is probably cranky and depressed from her "new normal" after the strokeand you're overworked and stressed out. BarbBrooklyn gave you good advice, try bringing in aide to help with either your wife's care or to help around the house. You can't do all of the duties all of the time. I'm not going to say it's cheap, it's not, but if your wife can qualify for Medicaid, that will help immensely. Good luck, hang in there and visit with us her on the forum. We all know what you're going through.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
please get help. Reach out and ask. Are there support groups in your area? Do you belong to a church? Pastor? Friends? Write out all the places and people you can reach out to.
You reached out here and got some good feedback. Keep reaching !!
It’s time for you to place your wife in a nursing home as her caregiving has become too much for you to handle. Your wife is still so young and chances are she will live a long, long time with her stroke. Do not let this ruin YOUR life.
I am urging you to call your PCP immediately and get help. You cannot take care of your wife anymore on your own.
Please come back and update us on how you are doing.
Praying for you.
Caregiving is a long, difficult road, and we're happy you've found the support of others here on this site. However, there are limits to what untrained members of the forum can provide for you.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out to experts at the 24/7 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
You've already received a few excellent answers, and I'm sure other caregivers will be along shortly to provide more words of encouragement and advice. Please take care of yourself!
And if this is really just too much for you now(which it sounds like it is)then have these places help you find the best facility for your wife where you can get back to just being her husband and advocate and not her 24/7 caregiver.
And to answer your question...absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are a human with limits as we all are. But you must take care of yourself first if you want to be any good for your wife.
God bless you.
It sounds like you are trying to do the work of three shifts of young people who get to go home and rest after a shift.
You sound depressed and burnt out from caregiving.
Have you explored bringing in aides to help out?
Have you considered getting your wife into respite care so that you can get some rest and treatment for your depression?
Have you talked to YOUR doctor about what's going on?