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I need to know what I need to get them. Thank you for your help.

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Be ready to ha e anything of value "lost" staff likes to steal when in residents rooms. They literally take advantage of everything and anything they want. You cant prove what happened. I HATE that aides and others think its ok to do this! No consequences notjing happens etc. You mzy want to set up a nanny cam. I have encountered myself enraged and literally completely aggravated to the poing of telling staff to refrain from dping laundry when the situation left parent with no essentials for sleeping as they were in the wash?! Be prepared to write your loved ones name on e ery article of clothing blankets etc and it willbe ignored. They dont care. They will not take extra time to engage anyone in conversation thats a resident so expect a significant decline (both cognitivrly and pbysically) no place encourages thriving independene or critical thinking. Good luck.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
It should be a given not to bring valuables - you wouldn't take them to a hospital, this is no different.

However, it isn't necessarily staff taking things. Stuff gets misplaced, lost, tossed by accident, taken by wandering residents, esp those with dementia. My mother was in MC, not a NH. Other than her hiding things or misplacing them, only once did a Boogie Board (LCD tablet for help with communication) go missing. It showed up again a couple of weeks later. It wasn't something staff would have stolen - not very useful other than writing notes on it (no storage, just writing and clearing.)
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Kaye55: Imho, you should pose your question to the NH. When my late mother entered a nursing home, I never received any information on what she would require, other than the fact that I had to mark all her possessions in indelible marker.
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Ask the facility. I had to bring about 10 days' worth of clothes (they said seven days, but it wasn't enough), personal items like toothbrush, toothpaste, and shampoo, then any personal items like photos, a chair, and a bedspread/quilt if she wanted. Put their names on EVEIYTHING with an indelible marker, or get those iron-on name tags we were sent off to summer camp with.

Think like you're furnishing a dorm room for a boy -- less rather than more like taking a girl to college.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2021
Like a boy, LOL
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Consider what you would take for an extended stay vacation: toiletries, medications (they are or may not have them there from pharmacy when folks arrive), eyeglasses, hearing aides, dentures, walker or cane, clothes for 2 weeks... Some families send pictures and small decorative momentos from home. Check with the facility before bringing those type of items.

Do not send anything expensive like jewelry or fine clothes. No legal or financial paperwork. Generally, if something is not essential and can be misplaced, stolen, or thrown out - safeguard that at home.
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The facility may provide labelled for clothing, but I suggest that you have order some to have on hand. I ordered a self-inking laundry stamper and some stick on labels. All clothing needs to be marked, personal item--even socks, glasses, comb. The stamper is more economical, but it won't work on all clothes. I ordered from Label Land.
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Clothes, TV, Phone
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I also bought mom a mini fridge, comes in great for keeping small bottles of water, sodas, orange juice, pudding, etc
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I would be more careful of what I would pick out if I had to refurnish my mom‘s room. The bed I got her sits too high when I take the boxspring out it sits to low. The chairs I picked out were so very comfortable, however they were gliders, and not practical for someone with balance issues. She has a private caregiver and it’s hard getting up and down for her and for mom from those chairs! My mom is someone who does not want to be there and has severe memory issues. If she had a phone in her room, and yes we did try it, she would be calling me 10 times a day to come get her. Blocking calls out only agitated her more as she would feverishly keep trying to call out, getting more upset by the moment. Please let me know if any of you guys have dealt with this sort of phone issue, if so how did you deal with it?
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
I chose not to provide my mother with a phone. She was having difficulty with it anyway (remembering numbers - ha!) and with poor hearing most of the time she couldn't hear on it. But, I suspected the only usage it would get would be to do what your mother did - call to get a ride home! I also didn't want her sitting in her room, so no TV either. They have one in the common/LR area. I think she'd already stopped watching TV at home (probably couldn't find and/or use the remote.)

She would periodically ask staff to call me - they did one time, but usually had some "excuse" at the ready, or promised to do it "soon."
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They don't have a lot of room but if they allow it,, bring their special chair they enjoy sitting in..
You should bring their favorite Art Pictures to decorate the walls and Family Pictures for remembrance.
Bring their favorite pillow and blanket.
Don't bring anything of great value because they seem to disappear.
I would Decorate their front door with a nice large face photo picture of them to make it easier for them and everyone else whose room it is.
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As a retired nursing home and assisted living clinical staff member I suggest framed family pictures to be hung on their walls, usually about 10 days of clothes, a favorite bedspread, a warm cardigan sweater, a favorite lap blanket, glasses, and hearing aides. Most places allow their favorite lounge chair….Yes… sometimes things get “lost”..residents put their dentures on food trays under food, even wrapped in napkins…staff can not dismantle every tray looking for items as they clean up… hearing aides get wrapped up in bedding and taken to laundry…be aware most facilities replace those items if they lose them. A list is complied and put into the chart of what is brought in on admission. Never give anything sharp to a resident. No nail clippers, scissors …send an electric razor for men..Your facility will give you a list of suggested items to bring in. When in a dementia unit some residents wander and think everything belongs to them…use a marker and discreetly put your parents name on items..so rarely have I heard of a “worker” taking residents items! Just never leave cash or credit cards in a room. These employees get weeded out quickly! We all want the best for your parents. My mom is in an assisted living with mild dementia. I remind her that some residents will wander…they are ill and do not “steal”..they think the stuff they take belongs to them! I provide mom with less expensive items then she had at home..everything is replaceable..even my mom understands money laying around is a bad idea..I give her $10 to keep and that makes her happy. 2 years later and 2 facilities and no one has stolen it!!
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Most facilities can recommend what the residents should bring. My mother is the one who was destroying a family album as her dementia got worse. I have taken away things that can be broken or destroyed. Don't bring sharp objects (scissors, etc.) if there is dementia. I carry scissors and personal grooming tools with me when I visit my mother (I've been cutting her hair, etc.) Ask the facility if they provide personal care items like shampoo, body lotion, etc. Sometimes they do, but it may not be the best kind for your parents. As mentioned below, don't bring valuables, and they should have only a small amount of cash, if any. These facilities are rough on laundry (hot wash, hot dryer). Bring clothes that are easy to care for and easy to get on and off. My mother seems to do best with elastic waist pants, soft t-shirts and sweatshirts, shoes that can slip on. You may notice that clothing seems to be interchangeable in the facility. My mother often shows up in clothes that I don't recognize and that she would never have picked for herself. It's probably best to have all of their mail forwarded to you and you can bring it to them when you visit. Otherwise, it can get lost if it is lying around for days. And yes, glasses can get lost. It's best to label everything. I don't blame the facility for this, they did their best. My mother stopped wearing her glasses when her dementia got worse. I think she wasn't feeling comfortable with them on her face.
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I think the best way to determine what you can safely bring or have in the NH is to ask other relatives of the NH residents. They will tell you stories that you probably do not want to hear. Stories of lost hearing aids, glasses, dentures, clothes, shoes, etc. and if not lost then broken. I have even heard of lost family picture albums. You certainly do not want your parents to have anything of monetary or sentimental value because it may disappear.
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Check with the facility, they should have a list, and may provide some items. Also see what Medicaid might supply like incontinence supplies, gloves, wipes, etc. Wound care items if necessary.

In my experience a weeks worth of clothing for each, plus extras because of spills. Daily toiletries, bathing supplies if they have skin issues, nightwear, several sets, robes and slippers if they are not bedbound. Comfortable, easy to get on clothing is best. Don’t worry about high-end things, everything gets dumped into the same laundry load. Make sure you label each item and make an inventory if getting the same items back is important.

Most facilities will provide all over the counter first aid items, they don’t want residents to have medications in the rooms or will keep them with the nurse to dispense on request if a specific brand is preferred.

depending on your parents abilities books and magazines, photo albums, photos, anything that makes them comfortable like personal pillows and quilts or throws. Remember that memory issues might drive other residents to "borrow" items so don’t take anything valuable or irreplaceable.

Less is more to start with, you can always bring other items if requested.
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My mom has a bed, recliner, a dresser and nightstand from her house and a TV. The recliner and TV came in handy when she was in quarantine in her room when there was a qastrointestinal illness going around Memory Care. She has her Facebook Portal on a table next to her recliner, out of town friends and family video chat with her. That was helpful for me who is local also when they went on lockdown. I liked to have eyes on her. She has begun to forget how to answer, so we sometimes need tell them ahead of time so they can help her.
At mom's Memory Care, we supply all depends and toiletries.
We put family pictures on the wall and a lap blanket for when she is in recliner. .My mom always wants to know the time so we put a clock on the wall. She has some photo books she likes to look at in her room.
A couple of pairs of shoes is enough. A spare is good in case of accidents.
Slacks and tops that are easy to put on, at least a weeks worth. Sweaters or cardigan bc they are always cold. Nightwear. Housedresses are nice for women for some days. Label everything even sheets.

Stuff will get mixed around. I found mom in some hot pink capris one day. I just told the aides so they could get them back next laundry day. If I see something that's not hers, I take it to the aides

When she was hospitalized last year, she wanted her purse. It usually just has her wallet with an old ID and some photos and a hairbrush. But as I sat with her at the hospital, I found sunglasses, an iPhone, 3 TV remote controls ! If it is laying around someone will pick it up. So don't take anything super sentimental or valuable. Usually you can tell the aides something is missing and they will look around others rooms and it will be found. But we just had to replace my mom's glasses, they never showed up.
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Most of your parents needs will be met. Remember that their area will be limited. My Aunt was allowed a recliner but my Moms room didn't have enough space in it for 2 people to have recliners. Sometimes you can put a small chest of drawers in.

I did bring Moms toiletries from the AL. In the five months they never used them even though they were right on her night stand. They continued to use what the home provided.

I would go and see the room to determine what u can bring and it won't be much. I would talk to the laundry and find out how they identify clothing. The ones that we would iron in do not go thru several washings. Permanent marker fades out. Where my Mom was they had a special machine that ironed in the labels they supplied. Only that machine could remove them.

I only took clothes Mom would need for that particular season. I found that one pair of shoes was enough. And they should be easy to get on and off. The aides never changed them. I kept Moms other clothes in totes at my house. All Mom wore was tops and slacks and socks. The NH supplied depends.

Do not take anything of value. That means figurines, jewelry, money. As much as you hope staff is honest there are bad apples.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
"Do not take anything of value. That means figurines, jewelry, money. As much as you hope staff is honest there are bad apples."

That was going to be my major contribution, what NOT to bring! However, it isn't just staff. Stuff grows legs and can walk....

Most items will be provided, I should think. If the have preferences on soap, toothpaste, lotions, briefs, etc, you could bring small samples and see how it goes. If they don't use them, using the "free" stuff instead, then there's your answer on those.

NH staff would likely be the best source to ask. They would know what is generally provided and if they don't list something one or both parents use, then ask about that/those items.
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I got my mom a phone, programmed telephone with a place for name or picture of person next to buttons. A digital clock with large numbers.
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Not much, the facility provides their meds and tissues, shampoo and such. We have some decorations, pictures, etc in my MILs room at the nursing home. She needed to bring a TV too. Of course clothing, with their names in them (If you ever want to see them again!). Furniture of a limited amount might be OK. My MIL has a nice recliner in her corner next to her bed.

The facility should be able to answer this question as well.

Read your profile and am glad to see that at their advanced ages and condition, you are moving them into a nursing home. Sounds like it should be a good fit. It's never perfect of course, but when people need a lot of care it's kind of inevitable.

Good luck.
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