Mom is 86 and doing fine now both mentally and physically. We are considering buying a different house to let her live with us within the next couple of years. I worry that if we don’t prepare for something now that when the time comes she won’t be accepted anywhere. Also, should we just plan to have her stay with us till she passes?
Having her move in sounds good until you do it. If Moms health starts a decline someone may have to be with her 24/7. The cost of aides can be very expensive. You will lose your privacy unless you can get a house with a MIL suite. If you are well off, then you may be able to afford the cost of Mom living with you. A lot of members don't have that option. They must work and LOs don't have the money for their care. So they have to turn to LTC and Medicaid.
Where I live we only have one complex that provides IL, AL and LTC. You pay like 200k to be guaranteed you will be cared for the rest of your life. This on top of paying a fee (1400 or more) a month to live in an apartment or cottage, then an AL. Some of the 200k goes to your LTC.
Where my SIL lives in NC her Mom lives in an IL for about 2k a month. Meals included, activities and transportation. I paid about 5k a month for Moms AL. Another one charges 5k but 7k for Memory care. If you decide on an AL I would choose one with a MC section. Moms AL was small, 39 rooms. The residents were mixed. Meaning the Dementia patients were mixed in with the residents that still had their minds. Really not fun for those who still were "with it". Most chose to stay in their rooms unless there was an activity.