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He has Hydrocephalus and had a shunt put in 3 yearsago, they say it can change their personality, and it has , he now watches porn every day on his computer masturbating, leaving the door open so that I will see. He says I should have sex with him but that will never happen, I feel very sad as he is not the man I married many years ago, but he now has started to shave his pubic hair with his electric razor. I am not sure what is the best thing I should do, any suggestions would be helpful, it has also affected his walking , speech and short term memory at times. I have not told the health care workers about this at the moment, should I?

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Pam, your question is whether you should tell the health care workers (do they come to your home?) I think you should tell his doctor so that he/she may be able to give you proper guidance about what this new behavior means and what can be done about it.

If you do have HC workers coming in and he is doing sexual things with the doors open and people can hear the porn he is watching, then yes, they should be told he may do this and you need to make sure the doors are shut. If you think he may approach or say something inappropriate to any in-home workers this absolutely needs to be discussed prior to them coming into your home.

FYI there have been other posts on this forum of spouses and adult children bemoaning the sudden and uncharacteristically hyper-sexual behaviors of their LOs. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this along with everything else, but please contact a doctor for answers.
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When a person is suffering from dementia, he can also suffer from something called Inappropriate Sexual Behavior or ISB; it's quite common, unfortunately. I realize your DH may not be formally diagnosed with 'dementia', per se, but perhaps some of his behavior is related to ISB. There IS medication available for this behavior, so definitely talk to his doctor about it right away because you should not have to be subjected to such a thing at all.

Wishing you the best of luck!
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pamee48 Jan 2020
Thank you, you are right and I will make an appointment with our doctor
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We had a couple in Church where the wife had "water on the brain". She suffered from Dementia like symptoms. Eventually, the wife had to be placed in LTC. Do you think maybe this is happening to your husband? When I read what you wrote, first thing I thought was a Dementia.
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pamee48 Jan 2020
Yes I have been wondering if this is the start of Dementia, thank you for your help.
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thank you for your information it is very helpful.
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