I'm new to this sight and I think divine intervention led me here today! It has been a particularly bad day dealing with my 92 year old father who has mid-stage dementia, diabetes and congestive heart failure. He's become so dependent on me and lately has been asking me to do things that I know he's capable of doing for himself. Tonight I had had enough of his demands and blew up! I even told him if he wasn't happy here to find someplace else to live! I felt horrible after I said it but he's really pushing my buttons lately. My husband was understanding and backed me up because he hates to see my dad make me jump through hoops all the time. Is it wrong to insist that they do things on their own and only offer assistance if I know he can't do it? I don't want dad to feel like I don't want him here but I don't want him to become totally dependent before his time. How do I back this up without feeling so much guilt?
And thanks for your advise after mom's fall yesterday morning.
it was so.. sweet.. this morning. i woke up with chills around 3am. mom was awake laying in bed and i went in to get a heavier blanket. she was worried(as this was how it started when i got sick the first time) and she said shed go sleep on the couch and let me spread out. I, of course, said no. but she was watching MASH which we always loved and i crawled on the bottom of the bed to watch with her. she leaned down and brushed my hair off my forehead for a bit which she did when i was little and it always soothed me. i was a little girl again and all was right in the world at that moment.
ive been noticing those lately, the little things. I was telling greyson how she ran from the kitchen thinking i was going to make her test taste something and thought "typical mom". no shes not better and wont ever be. but it helps noticing and cherishing those things.
Guilt does get us at times and we feel bad about things we think at times.
I am thankful I do have an outlet on here now.
i dont know your situation at all. so sorry if none of what i said fit
I like the idea someone gave on placing yourself as an outsider and being professional. It is just very hard because there are so many personal issues involved as a child to parent.
Don't be afraid to let it loose. I know it is just awesome for me to see that I am not alone and that what is involved in caretaking is a huge responsibility. Remember, you love them and are taking care of them the best you know how.
Keep a chin up and we're here for you!!
High Fructose Corn Syrup is bad stuff. Avoid it.
If I make a pasta, I use whole wheat noddles vs. the standard variety, and I actually find the taste of them to be better.
Whole wheat bread, is better than bleached white bread.
All Natural is better for anyone.
mom wont listen to books on tape. neither of us ever did. ive got a small case of AADD so books on tape doesnt hold my attention. give me a regular book and im deaf to the world for hours.