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When the words do not match the behavior, go by the behavior.
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He may not be doing this on purpose. But he misses your caring of him. I once dated a fella that I really liked, but he didn't pay much attention to me. One day he shut the car door on my fingers. It broke the skin and was very painful, but he was all over me with attention and I enjoyed it. Your father may crave your attention and the only time he can get it is when you are there. So maybe the solution is to over-care on him. Fuss about his clothes not being warm enough. Get him a blanket. Insist he lie down, Fuss about his medication, you know .... He needs to get enough of you, but his technique is driving you away.
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It's called passive-aggressive behavior. He is punishing you for putting him (or keeping him) in there. You can still visit him but I would ignore any negative thing he says about that place or his treatment there and redirect the topic to something totally unrelated but pleasant. That's called extinguishing behavior. It may also be true, as someone below posted, that it is attention-getting behavior because of how you react when he does it. Eventually when he sees you aren't taking the bait you may be able to have more pleasant and normal visits together.
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Don't take his complaints to heart, easier said than done. It sounds like he is adjusting to his new home and the interaction with others is good for him. His complaining and guilt tripping towards you may stem from years of successfully "dealing" with you to get his own way, kind of like muscle memory. My daughter use to be a director of an AL facility and she would see it all the time, the biggest social butterfly would suddenly become unhappy and dissatisfied with their situation when family members came to visit, wanting to go back to their home. Some had even told her, eh, that's what they expect me to say, I'm not going anywhere. Let him complain, listen to make sure he doesn't have any actual problems at the facility. It sounds like you found a good one. Nurses and aids are a good source of information, ask how he's doing and if there is anything more you can do to make it easier for him to accept his new home. It's not just moving to AL but also into your home. MIL complains to her 2 daughters that we don't take her out enough all the time, I give her too much food, ect. I take her with me 98% of the time when I run out, if I don't, I never hear the end of it, you NEVER take me anywhere, I wanted to go....You are doing a great job, keep visiting, at least you've actually seen him enjoying himself having a good time with others. When he complains validate his feelings, ask him for examples of what happened, it may surprise you that "Joe" was talking to "Sally". Just another road to travel, with plenty of potholes.
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I look at things a bit differently as for me, I need to keep MY sanity. I don't care why they do what they do - I didn't make the problem and I can't fix it. For the first few times, I would be kind, sympathetic, diplomatic, etc. But if they kept doing the same crap, I would eventually blow - after all I am human and a sensitive human being - and I would tell them to stop or else. If they keep doing it, I would not say a word, I would just simply excuse myself, get up and walk out. Keep doing that enough - and don't go to see them as often - and they may stop. And if they don't, why do you want their abuse? You don't deserve it. I learned the hard way how extremely difficult and obnoxious mental people can cause for others and I will never suffer like that again for anyone or anything.
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LOL I get something similar from my Mom! When I visit it's a long list of things she needs, problems with her room, complaints about laundry or housekeeping. Yesterday she complained that the toilet seat was too tall! Yet when I talk to the staff they tell me all the activities she is involved in, how she watches out for the other residents, etc.

I called her yesterday to arrange a trip to the hair salon and lunch out and she told me she needed to check her calendar to be sure she was free! It took 6 months but she is finally settling in.
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IMO he complains to you because you are "safe". You won't walk away and I'm sure there's a part of him that doesn't like being there. I don't see how his complaining is taking advantage of you, he just needs a safe place/person to vent to. My Mom does it too. It ain't easy being old. It ain't easy needing help.
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