I have been caring for my mother about 5 yrs or more. She has dementia.
She didn't want me to give her a shower or wash her hair (she hates water). Some of the food she eats she spits it out. She spends most her time sleeping (except for eating). She recently fell next to the bathtub. I was there when it happened. She went to the hospital. The physical therapist saying she is not responding to commands, like moving her legs, getting up, etc. I remember the days before she went to the hospital I asked her more than once, "How are you?" and she just sat there and looked at me. She is not responding to me like she use to, she is not able to walk on her own (including getting in and out of bed, going to the fridge, etc) anymore.
I can't take care of her 24/7 because I work. The doctors at the hospital are recommending a Long Term Care Nursing Facility. I am concerned about the cost. Her insurance covers a certain amount of time. She doesn't qualify for Medicaid.
I have to be realistic now. I would rather care for her, but I can't anymore. She's in a private person. Quiet, but when you talk to her, she doesn't respond like she used to.
Any suggestions, recommendations, comments please!
I don't know about 'affordable' Skilled Nursing Facilities in NYC. You may want to get the advice & guidance of a Certified Elder Care Attorney who can advise you about Medicaid requirements and the possibility of a Miller Trust if mom makes a bit too much to qualify. A good CEC attorney is worth his weight in gold, let me tell you.
In the meantime, you can go to the right hand side of this page and ask Karen the care advisor about SNFs in the the NYC area for your mom. The service is free and she can guide you about facilities in your area; that's what A Place for Mom does. Your mom can private pay for a while, spending down her money, and perhaps then she can qualify for Medicaid, I don't know what her situation is.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation. My mother passed in February after fighting with dementia (thought to be vascular) for about 6 years; she was 95 and lived in a Memory Care AL for the last 3 years of her life. The decline in the last year of her life was huge, and difficult to witness. I never would have been able to manage her care at home. I feel your pain.