Hi. My situation is kind of a messy one. I'm 33 and I recently relocated to help my grandparents with everything from long term care to daily care to selling their business. I have taken on much more than I care to, but I am taking steps to gradually transition out of so much responsibility. Before you ask, mom and dad are dead, so it's just me and my younger brothers who refuse to help, yet they get at least partially supported by my grandparents, not sure how much though, but I digress.
Long story short, I needed some help dealing with the minutiae of consolidating their bills and debts, getting the proper access and passwords to the credit cards etc that they have only recently neglected to pay due to the onset of dementia. So I asked a brother to help.
Well, he did help in getting this info during a visit and we set up an email address from which to pay all their bills, and also stored here was a master list of any passwords and personal info we might need in the future.
The day he returned home, he changed that password and locked not only me (I am the one taking care of them daily) but my grandparents out of their own banking info etc., and no one can get in touch with him, bills are running out of control and meanwhile our grandparents slip further into senility simply due to the stress of being betrayed and the complexity of regaining control of their finances.
We're getting together next week to talk about it, and my thought is to contact their creditors and bank and have the cards frozen or cancelled and change their bank account, as well as have credit monitoring and alerts activated from all 3 bureaus.
Is this enough? We can't afford to hurt their credit more than a few points, but at the end of the day the fraud has to stop regardless of the cost to their score. Any advice?? Thank you!
The Police would be a great place to begin as well, maybe make that your first call so you have a police report and a case number. The police may refer the case to the States Attorney when/if this goes to trial.
I am sure others on the forum have has dealings just like this and they can let you know how to proceed and how it was handled.
Also contact the bank and any bills that were being paid and may be late due to this. You will most likely need the police report for the bank as well.
Call the 3 major credit bureaus and freeze their credt. Call their banks and cancel their cards.
Do this all now.
Not directed at you Barb, wanted to find a way to place this comment near the top of the responses. This is the only idea I came up with.
Make that police report too. Get the report number.
DO NOT BE KIND OR GENTLE OR POLITE as you go about reporting your brother.
Put everything in writing to the bank especially.
Does anyone know if the banking fraud can be brought to the attention of the FBI?
2. Think about this carefully, as I have some doubts, but you might also contact the ISP of the e-mail account and advise that there has been an unauthorized change of password and you are no longer able to access the account.
Success might turn on who actually created that account and pays the bills for it. If you're paying jointly, your brother presumably wouldn't under the T & C for the account have authority to prevent your access. If it's his account, you're kind of out of luck on that issue.
3. Have your grandparents executed any powers of attorney authorizing either of you to make payments? Or are you making them primarily b/c you're the grandchildren? I ask b/c of who has legal access to their accounts, i.e., the bank accounts.
That also raises the issue of how the bank accounts are titled: i.e., Grandpa and Grandma, Granddaughter and Grandson, as joint tenants, or your grandparents' names solely?
4. You might consider sending a cease and desist notice to brother, advising that unless he complies with (a - z and list them), you may be forced to take action against. Do not specify what action - leave that vague so you're not limited if you have to seek legal help.
5. I think that depending on the answers to the questions above, you might consider asking the local court to grant an injunction preventing your brother from (a) barring your access to the accounts (b) using any of the funds for his own use (c) refusal to abide by the terms of the agreements you've worked (problem with this is that they're probably oral, not written agreements).
Add in something to the effect of preventing your grandparents' funds from being inappropriately used and/or depleted, linking this to an anticipation of financial abuse.
6. Call the state elder abuse hotline and ask what they can suggest to address financial abuse of elders.
Unfortunately, so many governmental levels are either operating from home or shut down now, so you may trouble getting advice and/or support.
7. You raised the issue of "fraud". Do you have specific documentation?
8. I definitely would put fraud alerts on your grandparents' accounts, and on yours, just as a matter of safety.
9. How exactly are your younger brothers getting support from your grandparents, and/or has this become part of the one brother's fraudulent activities?
All in all, I think notifying creditors, creating fraud alerts and/or credit freeze, asking for a moratorium on bills, and notifying the banks to put holds on the accounts are the top priorities.
Also, I wouldn't rely too much on getting together next week; if your brother is as sneaky as he appears to be, he could very well find an excuse at "the last minute" not to meet. He might be just "jerking you around".
And you've already observed that he's not reliable. Move forward on your own plans and path.
I know b/c of the article in which an FBI agent shared how he brought his colleagues in on the phone call when the scammer was to provide arrangements to send money. And they nailed him.
But I don't know the foundation for jurisdiction, i.e., national, or international or both.
Looking at this as several issues, and to address it according to priorities. Of course you deal with the fraud issues.
But number one, get your hands on the money. You can do that by opening a new bank account, and having SS direct her money there. imo.
Call your local police precinct and explain what's going on. A visit from law enforcement might solve this very quickly.
There's also probably a local agency that enforces elder abuse situations. Get on the phone with them immediately.
And then disown your brother until such a time that he becomes a decent human being. That might be never.
Good luck!
Then I would first call each credit card Co and tell them the card is lost and to please send another, if you want another.
For the Bank Account, I would contact the Bank and change the Account #. You will need to bring in the person on the Account.
Then just set up Auto Bill pay with all the main things like Utilities, ect.
The auto bill pay can come out of the Bank Act or charged to a Credit Card.
What your brother is doing is criminal and he needs to be prosecuted, nothing to talk about or discuss. The longer it takes anyone to act the more money that is gone, never to be recovered. This will hurt their eligibility for assistance if it is not dealt with through the authorities.
Willpower,
Maybe there is some 'techy' thing you can do to regain access to the online information. When you cannot login to the accounts, click on "cannot remember my password".
But contact the Banks IMMEDIATELY ! Don't wait ! !
Good luck.
Who has Power of Attorney, get it, ASAP
Contact Elder Abuse
Don’t tell you brother one thing! Too late to meet. Too late to talk.
As a 11 year caregiver for my mom who is 93 I know what it is to have a selfish piss-poor brother. It turns my stomach thinking how greedy and self contained they are. I could write a book about the unseen horrors of this station in life.
Just don't wait on this because it sounds like your brother is moving very very quickly to destroy all the assets.