My mom is 88 and has had incontinence for a while…she lives with me in my walk out basement level. It smells often and it smells BAD. She often has UTIs and she can’t smell anything. I am finding that she’s now losing a lot of urine all over floor despite wearing a pad. I’m guessing it is shifting or maybe bunching up? She’s heavy of that makes a difference - about 60 inch waist, 245 pounds. Help! She doesn’t admit to any of this (in denial or embarrassed?) - it’s tough to live in these conditions and I don’t want to place her in AL.
ideas for tight fitting undies maybe? I wanna cry. I’ve washed so many waterproof pads, sheets, blankets
https://www.shethinx.com/pages/speax
If you want absolutely no leakage at all, line that diaper with a trimmed down baby-diaper. This is what I used to do.
Get a pack of baby diapers. Trim the tabs and leg elastic off. Then line the Depend diaper with them. Infant diapers are made from different material than adult ones. You could pour a glass of water on one and that thing will not leak. Also the surface of it stays dry. They're also thin. Perfect for use as an adult diaper liner.
Good Luck!
Dianne
After posting this I read all the posts. Rather than referencing the brand depends I should have remembered all the other available brands of adult briefs.
Your demonstration for mom is not weird at all. It's brilliant.
Sometimes a person has to see for themselves why something doesn't work like they think it will.
I always suggested name-brand Depends, with a name-brand Poise pad lining it to all my clients who were incontinent or to their families. They cost a little bit more than an off brand does, but worth the extra money.
Additionally, not every one has the funds to pay for a facility like AL or MC. NHs are even more expensive, and generally you have to NEED NH care, specialized nursing care. Dementia or incontinence are qualifiers. As for paying the high costs, Medicaid generally only covers NH AND has ridiculously low income limits.
You make everything sound so simple, but it isn't.
1. We use Depends daily around the house and Tena when we have to go to any appointments. The Tena have better fitting leg openings for our purposes.
However,
2. I agree with the advice about AL or at least in-home care. And, to help you make that decision, you should check the Social Security Life Expectancy Calculator. You can get a generalized idea of how many more years that you may be dealing with your mom's declining health and increasing needs.
3. I'm not sure if this is true in every state, but you may be able to call in Hospice for some respite services. Your loved one doesn't have to be terminal. In my state, as long as they are not expected to improve, they qualify for assistance.
My mother was 97, already in a wheelchair, with dementia, limited hearing, Mac Deg and when she had a stroke that disabled her dominant side, the MC nurse called in hospice. We actually had to fight them, make them come back several times. They rejected her for hospice not once, but TWICE.
Beware telling others that hospice is easy and the condition doesn't have to be terminal. Medicare has specific criteria and any hospice working under Medicare has to abide by those rules.
Then a protective pad under her where she sits or sleeps. We try to take her to the potty every few hours to hope she does something in there. She has no sensation when she has to go. She has a problem wiping well, so we try to do that for her.
works pretty well. Please be careful with your back....this can be really hard for one person.
It doesn't sound like those pads are doing much for her. I would think they are likely going to bunch up, esp given her weight. When I tried using them for monthly needs, mine would tend to get "pinched" in the middle, potentially leading to leakage with that too, and I wasn't even half your mother's weight! If they are for monthly cycles, they probably have a different absorbency criteria. If they are for incontinence, they are probably designed more for a little leakage, not full on flow. The pads and briefs also vary in absorbency like Max, Ultra, Overnight, etc. You might want to try various ones, brand and absorbency, to see which works best.
A toileting schedule might help as well. Going on a regular cycle will reduce how much she would have if she has an "accident."
When we switched mom to adult briefs, the aide and I just removed all her undies and replaced them with the briefs. We did use incontinence pads inserted into the briefs at night before bed.
Definitely give the briefs (try various ones, to see which work best) a try, and work on getting a toilet schedule going.
As for the strong odor, perhaps it's just part of aging, but I do find that urine tends to smell MUCH stronger when fluid intake is reduced. Encouraging sufficient fluid intake might help with the odor - beware not to go overboard as too much fluid can cause problems! The down side of drinking more is more urine, but with a schedule and briefs, it might work!
As others have noted, hopefully you have legal documents in place, so that you have them when you need them and are making plans for future care. As much as many, like you, don't want to put a LO into AL or MC, the downward spiral can become overwhelming, much more so than it is now. Her weight alone is concerning, as you could get seriously hurt yourself when trying to assist her. Even people trained to do it "right" can end up injured, At the least, you will want to hire help, to physically assist, but also give you time to attend to chores, shopping, cleaning, etc., AND time for yourself. You WILL need it. Meanwhile, even if now you don't plan on using a facility, at least check out those in your area, so that if the time ever comes that there is no other option, you won't be scrambling to figure it all out!
(HDIS was mentioned, but not explained what it is. Apparently they are distributors of various types/brands - if they are more expensive, why buy from them? I was able to order from WM and have them delivered for a reasonable price (meet minimum order cost and shipping is free.)
And you can put a pad inside of these, too.
My FIL wears the depends during the day and then at night we add a pad to it.
Just make sure you get the size right and that they are pulled all the way up.
Good luck.
Mom wears an internal cath with outside collector bag. A pair of the heaviest depends and 2 thick Poise pads---yet she can pee through them all. Her floors are all ruined and her apt. stinks to high heaven. At some point, we simply couldn't keep up with the urine flow. It smells extremely strong as she is on many meds and also is always very dehydrated. NOTHING has helped with the smell. And trust me, we've tried. It's in everything.
When mother has worn briefs that are too tight, she gets rashes and then there's one more thing to deal with.
I wish I had answers for this--it's so bad people won't go visit her. I get a migraine from the smell of the old urine mixed with 6 air fresheners 'spritzing' every 15 minutes.
Then I bought the urine dipstick to check her urine now and then to see whether a new one was starting. And if so, get the dr. to write a script to have it checked ASAP. I also have Mom's nails kept cut short ( as e.coli from stools is the most common cause ) so wiping after a bm has less chance of contamination.
The most common symptom in older folks is increased confusion and increased urination.
As far as products, I'm reading others' responses, as so far, just thick Poise pads are working for my mom.
https://wellnessbriefs.com/
They will send samples
good luck
I call it serious incontinence when the house stinks all the time.
She needs to be in diapers now. Not 'Pull-ups' which are for mild incontinence. Diapers. Then line the diaper with an incontinence pad. This will take care of you problem of there being urine on the floor or furniture.
Keep a garbage can with a lid in the bathroom too. That will help with the smell.