My very-elderly mum passed away several months ago, not unexpectedly. She had arranged, years ago, for cremation. I now have her ashes. It felt odd to tell the cremation people that I didn't want them, but I don't. My mum was always "difficult" - narcissistic, demanding, critical, and often not a pleasant person to be around. At brunch with my aunt yesterday she told me of a situation that happened years ago where my mum was rude and uncaring to a family member needing temporary help. This only reinforced my feelings about mum being a not-very-nice person. Even with all that, I'm not sure I can just put the ashes in the rubbish bin. I'm sure I will never reach a point where I will ever want them, even part of them, and mum never had a "special place" where I would consider scattering them. And no other family would desire to have them, either. Any ideas of what to do would be appreciated.
Eternal Reefs in Florida start at $2,495 but can cost up to $6,995. This includes everything to construct your reef artifact, position it and GPS locate it, a bronze plaque sited on your memorial reef and certificates for families members to keep.
An alternative site on the Pacific coast near the San Diego Bay offers memorial reef interment starting at $2,400. There are also a couple of sites in Mexico where memorial reefs can be sited and these cost around $3,000.
Ask other family members if they know any favorite place she ever talked about.
Before you do decide to dispose of her ashes, just think about having a small portion of her ashes placed in a pendant made especially for a keepsake. Many mortuaries offer them; you can keep a small part of her so when if ever you're able to forgive, you'll have that small part you can wear near your heart.
(Dont know if they will be able? But hey lol)
Wrap me up and burn me (No service, just a straight cremation) (if they insist on a coffin, then make it a cardboard one)
Pay for my ashes (I will leave enough for that)
Find a wood or forest and scatter me randomly. I will go back to nature.
They will be able to visit the woods to remember me (if they want to) without the need to feel that they MUST.
A wood is beautiful, so should help with happy thoughts. I dont want sadness.
It's sad that sometimes we're judged by what we do for our loved ones after death, when it's more important to be concerned how we treat them while they're living.
My girlfriend has her Mother-in-Law, Father-in-Law, and husband in one closet. Her mother is at her brother's house in a closet. Her father is in another closet at her house with the ashes of a lady she took care of. She said her mother would turn over in her urn if she knew her husband was in the closet with that other gal.
Sometimes you have to laugh or cry.